Utter Pandemonium
by Nightfall Daybreak
Summary: It's utter pandemonium—though not quite the apocalypse. It's worse than that: April Fool's Day has come, and everyone is determined to prank each other in an all-out war while trying to keep themselves alive...And Lightning is profoundly ticked-off.
1. Commencement of Chaos

**A/N: Hi, everybody! It's Nighty! :D ****Well, here's my very belated April Fool's Day fanfiction, and I hope you enjoy it!**

******Here, most of the characters from the game will appear: the six main characters, Serah, Dajh, Chocobo, and Team NORA. **

******I hope it reads well as a comedy—I know I need lots of practice in that department, but I liked the idea of all the Final Fantasy XIII characters celebrating holidays and getting into a severely tangled mess, starting with April Fool's Day. xD So, I guess it might be a series...? Sorta...? Kinda...?**

******And it's a multi-chapter fanfiction, so there'll be updates. But the fic will end before April's over, promise. xD **

******Please read and review! :D I love reviews! Reviews are like little presents. :D **

******(Although I'll usually reply and then we end up talking for a while...xD Oops, maybe I shouldn't have said that...:P)**

* * *

Snow Villiers whistled tunelessly to himself as he ambled down the hallway towards the bathroom.

It was still early in the morning, so the rest of the house still lay dormant, the pale dawn light filtering through the windows. An unearthly hush filled the place from every crack in the wall to every long-forgotten corner.

Of course, perhaps it only felt unnatural to Snow because he knew that it wouldn't stay quiet for very long.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Snow kicked the bathroom door open and lumbered inside, heading straight for the toilet.

Too late, he realized that the toilet seat was backed by plastic sheeting.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

**xxXxx**

Lightning was rudely jolted awake by the sound of someone screaming obnoxiously down the hall.

_What the—?!_

She shot straight up in bed, accidentally banging her head against the headboard and cursing colorfully under her breath.

_It's far too early in the morning for this...._

Pressing one hand to her throbbing head, she grudgingly lifted herself off of the mattress and hurried towards her bedroom door, intending to investigate. The cold prickled like tiny needles all over her legs, only adding towards her increasingly bad-tempered mood.

The source of the feminine screaming came from further down the hallway; it hadn't ceased since Lightning had risen. Her eyes narrowed in irritation, Lightning tracked the shrieking down to the bathroom door, which was shut and locked.

"Who's in there?!" she yelled, banging violently on the door.

There was a pause, as the person on the other side of the door realized they'd been found.

"It's Snow..."

Lightning rolled her eyes, by now thoroughly annoyed.

"What the _hell_, Snow! Aren't you capable of using the bathroom without waking up the rest of the house?!"

"It's not that!" Snow protested from the other side of the door, his voice cracking with indignation. "There's PLASTIC SHEETING on the TOILET SEAT!!"

Another incredibly awkward pause.

Lightning smacked herself on the forehead, anticipating what was to come.

"Let me guess...you weren't smart enough to notice that _before _you used the bathroom."

"...Yes."

"You _idiot_," snarled Lightning. "I'm never using that bathroom again."

"Light, I'm sorry!"

"I don't care!" Lightning barked back. "Just—stop talking and clean it up! I'm going back to bed."

Grousing, she whirled around to return down the passage towards the safe haven of her bedroom, _away _from Snow and his stupidity.

However, as she turned around, she was suddenly met by a very strange sight.

Hope was running down the hallway, screaming at the top of his lungs, still wearing his nightclothes. With one hand he was hugging a blanket tightly around his knees. With the other he brandished a pair of trousers that were six sizes too large for him.

"Hope?" Lightning was caught off guard. "What the—"

"_Look_!" he screamed, thrusting the oversize trousers in her face. "Just _look _at this!!"

Lightning took a few steps backward, blinking as Hope frantically waved the trousers.

"Okay, Hope. Calm down. What _exactly _happened to you?"

"What _happened_?" the teen almost shrieked, his voice cracking as it climbed the scales. "SOMEONE **TOOK** ALL OF MY PANTS! And left these trousers in my closet! And I can't wear them because they're **TOO BIG**!"

Silence pervaded the entire house. Even Snow, who was cleaning up the mess in the bathroom, had fallen still.

Lightning blinked as her mind processed this incredible information. "Someone _took _your pants?"

"Yes!" Hope looked close to tears.

Lightning patted his shoulder awkwardly, not knowing how to otherwise console a youth who'd just suffered the loss of his pants.

"It's okay, Hope. Just...go find Serah and see if she has some shorts or something for you. I'll take care of this."

Hope nodded mutely, too hysterical to speak, and left.

"Uh, Lightning...?" Snow's head appeared around the edge of the bathroom door.

"What, you oaf?" Lightning scowled up at him. "If you can't even clean up after yourself, I need to have a talk with Serah about just _what _she sees in you."

Snow looked offended, but wisely decided not to counter her latter statement for fear of irritating Lightning further.

"It's not about the bathroom. It's about Hope's pants...wait—WHOA!"

A coral-haired tornado suddenly hurtled down the hallway towards Lightning so rapidly Snow barely had time to see it happen. With a shout of surprise, Lightning tumbled backwards from the momentum; only her soldier reflexes prevented them from both smashing into the wall.

"What—! Vanille?"

Vanille hurled herself at Lightning, sobbing and screaming something unintelligible. Caught off guard once more, Lightning was powerless to stop her as the young girl gripped the front of her jacket in both hands and shook her back and forth.

"Light! Light! Light!" she wailed through a flood of tears.

"Yes, what?" Lightning hurriedly pried Vanille's hands from her jacket and retreated a safe distance against the wall. "God, what is wrong with everyone today?!"

"My...my..." Vanille could barely get the words out, she was weeping so hard. Lightning felt a flash of alarm; this was the first time she had seen the cheerful girl so completely broken down.

"Yes, what is it?"

"They—they're gone...!"

"What's gone, Vanille?"

"My _necklaces_!" Vanille cried. "They're _gone_! Someone TOOK them!" She threw herself at Lightning once more, breaking out into fresh tears.

Lightning stood there for a moment, stock-still, before glancing down at her and awkwardly patting the top of the Oerban girl's head. Vanille's neck was indeed bare of the brightly colored necklaces she usually wore.

"...Can't you buy new ones?" she ventured after a pause.

"_No_," Vanille wailed. "The Oerban villagers made them for me, a long time ago, out of our special leather and beads. You can't find necklaces like these anywhere else, and they're like memories...of my friends." She sniffled, wiping away her tears.

_Ah. So this is really important. _

"It's okay, Vanille," Lightning told her in what she hoped was a convincingly soothing voice. "I'm sure they're not gone; you probably just misplaced them again. I'll find them...as soon as I find Hope's pants."

"What happened to Hope?" Vanille tilted her head curiously, momentarily distracted from her misery.

"Someone took his pants." Lightning heaved a sigh. She could feel a pressing ache beginning to throb in her temples.

"Uh, Lightning..." Snow raised his hand meekly.

"Shut up, Snow!" Lightning scowled ferociously. "I don't have the fortitude to deal with you right now."

"No, it's just—"

"Hey, what's all this commotion?"

Fang walked towards them, looking deceptively casual, her customary smirk drawn across her lips. She paused, surveying the scene with a barely lifted eyebrow, her hands on her hips.

_Just what I need...Oerba Yun Fang turning up. _

"Glad you decided to show up, Fang." Lightning's voice was ever-so-slightly underscored with sarcasm.

"Anytime, Sunshine."

Fang suddenly noticed the still-visible tear tracks shining on Vanille's cheeks. She immediately headed towards the other girl and pulled her into a hug.

"What's this? Why've you been crying, girlie?" Fang soothed, rocking Vanille. "Did Snow say something insensitive?"

"Hey!" Snow protested.

"Her necklaces went missing." Lightning sighed and shifted her weight to one hip.

"Hey, don't worry. We'll find them, Vanille." Fang lifted Vanille's chin and looked into her eyes. "Right?"

Vanille nodded and clasped her hands together. "Okay..."

"Good girl." Fang straightened and glanced towards Lightning. "Now, does anyone know what's going on?"

_If only I knew_.

Fang sighed as neither Lightning nor Snow offered up an explanation. "Has anyone checked a calendar lately?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Lightning's scowl deepened.

"It's April first," Fang explained.

"Oh...that explains it!" Comprehension dawned on Vanille's face.

Not so Lightning. "What?" she repeated.

"April first is April Fool's Day!" Vanille informed her, bouncing up and down. "You celebrate it by playing pranks on your friends and tricking them!"

"Speaking of pranks..." Fang arched an eyebrow and smirked. "Did anyone notice the little surprise I left in the bathroom this morning?"

"What?!" Snow's jaw hit the floor. "You mean YOU were the one who spread plastic sheeting all over the toilet seat?!"

"The one and only." Fang grinned demonically and crossed her arms. "Of course, I should have expected that _you _would have fallen for it."

"You....you little...!"

Snow could only point at Fang, growling in impotent fury.

Lightning had stood there staring from Fang to Snow to Vanille in silent shock all this time. Her mind stuttered, clearly finding fault with accepting this _April Fool's Day _concept.

_Is this some kind of sick joke?!_

Now, however, she decided that it was high time to make her opinions clearly known.

"What. The. _Hell_?"

**xxXxx**

Hope felt exposed.

This was, of course, probably due to the fact that he was wearing a pair of shorts instead of the calf-length trousers he was accustomed to wearing.

He narrowed his eyes at the mirror, shivering as a breeze gusted through his bedroom from the window and bristled against his shorts-clad legs.

No, he definitely did not do shorts.

He turned to glare at the offending oversize trousers, lying on the floor where he'd dumped them in a fit of temper.

Stupid trousers. Stupid pants-thief. Stupid short shorts.

Hope snatched up the blanket and wrapped it around his waist once more. Better to go through the day looking like he was wearing a long skirt than appear as if he was imitating Vanille's dress style.

Hope scowled at his reflection once more. He looked, if possible, even more ridiculous.

_When I find out who took my pants...!_

He stormed back towards the bed and picked up the gargantuan trousers. He had to wonder if they had been made for a giant.

Suddenly, a thought struck Hope. Peering into the massive waist of the trousers, he carefully extricated the tag from the fabric and pulled it close to his eyes. In scrawled, messy handwriting appropriate for a six-year-old was written: SNOW VILLIERS.

Hope flung the trousers aside in a burst of uncontrollable rage.

"..._Snow_!"

There was about to be a rain of destruction.

**xxXxx**

Someone was screaming downstairs.

Lightning rubbed her forehead wearily, her migraine intensifying. It was only seven in the morning, for heaven's sake.

"So...do you mean to tell me..." she said eventually after a pause, "that this entire mess...is caused by today...being _April Fool's Day_?"

Fang, Snow, and Vanille glanced at one another, and then nodded slowly.

"Actually," Fang ventured after another brief pause, "this entire mess _is _April Fool's Day."

"And it's going to last for the entire day!" Vanille put in helpfully. "Right up till the end!"

Lightning uttered another groan. Putting a hand to her viciously throbbing head, she turned and strode back down the hall the way she'd come.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Vanille demanded.

"Back to my room!" Lightning shouted over her shoulder. "And I'm not coming out until this April Fool's Day crap is over!"

Before she reached her bedroom door, however, another commotion commenced belowstairs.

**xxXxx**

"_Where. Are. My. BUTTERFLY BARRETTES?!"_

The door to Lebreau's bedroom on the second floor slammed open and Lebreau herself stormed out in a rage, long dark hair falling in disarray about her face.

Eyes narrowed, she scanned the floor for the thief who'd taken her precious hair accoutrements.

Further down the hall, a door cracked open carefully and Maqui timidly stuck his head out. "Lebreau—"

"_Did you take my barrettes_?!" she demanded forcefully, stomping towards the spiky-haired blond. She leveled a threatening finger at his face. "If you took them—"

Maqui paled and shook his head frantically. "N-no, no, no!" he stuttered.

Lebreau glared at him for several seconds, before pivoting on her heel and advancing towards Gadot's door.

"GADOT!" she yelled, hammering viciously on the door. "GIVE ME BACK MY BARRETTES!"

"Eh...Lebreau..." Maqui said hesitantly, watching her continue to pound fruitlessly on the door. "...I don't think Gadot took your barrettes..."

Lebreau briefly ceased her abuse of the door to scowl at Maqui. Her hair fell in a messy black tangle over her shoulders.

"Gadot's the only person who would take my barrettes. You said you didn't take them, and Yuj is too much of a fashion addict to care about my out-of-style barrettes. Unless you _did _take them..."

Maqui blanched as Lebreau directed a suspicious gaze at him. "No! I didn't! I—"

"Yeah, whatever." Lebreau spun to face the door again. "OPEN UP!" she bellowed. "GIVE ME MY BARRETTES BACK!"

"SHUT UP!" roared a thoroughly aggravated Gadot from the other side of the door. "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"YOU'LL BE LUCKY TO _LIVE _UNTIL YOU GIVE MY BARRETTES BACK!" Lebreau screamed.

"I DON'T HAVE YOUR CURSED BARRETTES!"

"OH YES YOU DO!"

Maqui, who had pressed himself against the wall, shook his head in perplexity and wondered how Yuj could possibly sleep through that racket.

"OPEN THE DOOR!" Lebreau hollered, banging furiously. "I NEED TO SEARCH YOUR ROOM!"

"YOU'RE NOT SETTING FOOT IN MY ROOM, WOMAN!"

"I WON'T GO AWAY UNTIL YOU OPEN THE DOOR!"

There was a pause, and then the door exploded open, nearly blowing Lebreau backwards. In the doorway stood the wrathful figure of Gadot, tense with suppressed rage and fury. Maqui squeaked in terror as he felt the hallway instantaneously darken.

"Get out of my way!" Lebreau snapped, marching up to the doorway and glaring defiantly up at Gadot. "I need to—"

Lebreau interrupted herself to peer at Gadot. She took one good look at him and stopped dead, her jaw dropping open in shock.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!"

Instead of the bright orange mohawk that usually adorned his head, Gadot now sported a tumbling mass of flaming ringlets.

Maqui screamed in fear and ran to hide behind Lebreau. "It's a monster! It's a monster!"

"What are you talking about, you pair of extraordinary idiots?" Gadot scowled deeply, completely unaware of the disaster on his head. "It's _me_!"

Lebreau was so horror-stricken, she could barely speak. She could only extend one trembling finger towards the full-length mirror that hung on the wall.

Muttering savagely to himself, Gadot marched towards the hall mirror, looked himself full in the face...

—and screamed.

**xxXxx**

A horrific shriek drifted up the stairs from the second floor to the third floor.

"I've had _enough_!" Lightning shouted. "What in the name of the fal'Cie has gotten into everyone today?"

Snow coughed. "I'm guessing everyone else remembered it was April Fool's Day, too...."

"I don't care _what _day it is!" Lightning drew her Blazefire Saber and charged towards the stairs, leaping down the steps five at a time with enviable agility. "I'm going to end this, _NOW!!"_

The three l'Cie watched as Lightning threw herself down the stairs in a terrifying strike position, gunblade raised over her head.

"...Should we follow her?" queried Vanille after a moment's pause.

"Sure, whatever." Fang sighed and descended the stairs at a leisurely pace after Lightning, muttering under her breath, "Light's finally lost it."

**xxXxx**

"What—what is this _abomination_?!"

Gadot shuddered violently in dismay, pointing one horror-struck finger at his own wide-eyed, curly-haired reflection.

Maqui shook his head frantically. "I don't wanna know!"

Lebreau was truly stunned; all she could do was blink for a few seconds, her mouth agape.

"It was YOU, wasn't it, Lebreau!" Gadot whirled around to point an accusing finger at Lebreau. "YOU DID IT! YOU TRIED TO GET REVENGE ON ME!"

"No, I didn't!" Lebreau spat. "I wouldn't go _anywhere _near that mohawk you call hair, and I only _just _found out that my barrettes are missing! Speaking of which, you still have to give them back!"

Lebreau swept past Maqui and Gadot in a huff, storming into Gadot's bedroom and slamming the door shut with a bang, presumably to infiltrate Gadot's personal belongings in search of her barrettes.

"Oh, by the way," Lebreau shouted from behind the closed door, "_nice ringlets_!"

In the silent wake left by her voice, Maqui and Gadot simply stared at one another, not knowing what to do or say.

Finally, Maqui broke the silence. "Ouch."

Gadot scowled at the younger boy. "Shut it, Maqui, I have enough to deal with." He turned back towards the mirror, his expression deeply pained as he smoothed both hands through his new forest of pretty orange ringlets. "Ugh, I'm never going to hear the end of this!"

"Uh, it, uh, looks nice," Maqui said awkwardly in an attempt to make Gadot feel better.

"Oh, _thanks, _kid." Gadot growled, then suddenly gave pause, as if a new thought had just occurred to him.

"Wait. It's...April Fool's Day today, isn't it?"

Maqui nodded uneasily.

"ARGH!" Gadot slammed his fist against the wall, his shout ringing through the house. "I can't believe I forgot!"

Maqui whimpered and squashed himself against the wall in an attempt to make himself as small as possible, for fear of further incurring Gadot's wrath.

"This is really the worst day of my life," Gadot growled, clenching his fists tightly as he leaned against the wall. Maqui noted that the muscles in his arms were rippling threateningly, which usually signaled that Gadot was preparing to charge into battle. "First my _hair_, and now it's April Fool's Day and I FORGOT?!"

He whirled around, turning a furious eye upon the trembling blond boy, as if he were the cause of this misfortune.

"Th-there'll be other April Fool's Days," Maqui stammered. "A-and I think your hair looks really pretty! I'm sure L-Lebreau likes it too!"

Gadot narrowed his eyes at Maqui.

"Maqui."

"Y-yes?"

"_YOU DON'T DESCRIBE MY HAIR AS __**PRETTY**__!!"_

With an inhuman roar, Gadot charged at Maqui, seizing the boy by his ankles and sweeping him upside down. Maqui screamed in utter terror, goggles slipping down over his eyes as he thrashed his arms and legs frantically to get free.

However, Gadot was a good hundred pounds heavier than Maqui, all of which was hard, whipcord-lean muscle, shaped from years spent fighting in the resistance. Not to mention that Gadot was also ten inches taller, and infused with rage.

There was no hope.

At that moment, Lightning's running footsteps were heard on the landing, and the formidable soldier suddenly appeared at the other end of the hallway, saber drawn. She took one glance at Gadot dangling Maqui upside down by his ankles, and dashed directly at the fiery-curled behemoth of a man.

"Put Maqui down _now_!" Lightning ordered, bringing her Blazefire Saber up in a single swift curving movement to rest against Gadot's throat. She glared fiercely at Gadot, the sharp look in her eyes brooking no argument.

Reluctantly, Gadot set Maqui down on his feet, but not before shaking him as hard as he could.

Two objects suddenly clattered out of Maqui's jacket pockets, making a melodic tinkling noise as they collided with the floor.

"What's this?" Gadot stooped to pick one of them up; it was a delicate violet butterfly barrette, traced in golden filigree, looking very fragile between his enormous calloused fingers.

"These...are Lebreau's barrettes!"

Gadot aimed a glare at Maqui, who had scrambled upright, clutching his head from the blood pressure, and was now gazing at him with an expression of terror in his eyes.

"_You _took Lebreau's barrettes?" Gadot roared. "You mean you had that woman waking me up at dawn blaming me for taking her fal'Cie-cursed barrettes, _after you took them_?"

Gadot seemed about to throttle Maqui within an inch of his life, but Lightning stepped forward to intercept him.

"Gadot!" she snapped. "Cut the crap! You nearly _killed _the kid."

"He deserves it!" Gadot bellowed.

The seventeen-year-old peeped out fearfully from behind Lightning, risking to protest, "Gadot, come on! It's April Fool's Day...."

"_Don't you dare remind me_!" Gadot glared daggers at the boy and breathed heavily through his nose, suppressing the urge to strangle Maqui.

At that moment, Gadot's bedroom door slammed open and Lebreau stepped into the hall, leaning against the doorframe, stretching one arm above her head.

Maqui, Gadot, and Lightning watched her warily. They knew her well enough to detect the subtle flicker of irritation in her eyes, which was the only thing in her cursory manner that alluded to the fury slowly strengthening in her slanted gaze.

And it was about to explode.

"Well, I didn't find the barrettes," Lebreau informed them, still casual, but Maqui noticed her ever-so-slightly compressed lips, and swallowed in fear. He looked pleadingly to Gadot.

_Please don't say anything, please don't say anything...._

Unfortunately, Gadot was deaf to Maqui's silently desperate prayers.

"Well, _we _did!" he growled, jerking a massive thumb towards the quaking boy. "Turns out that _kid _here took your barrettes!"

Lebreau rounded on Maqui. "_You _took my barrettes?"

A strangled squeak erupted from Maqui's throat; he nodded in terror.

Lebreau scrutinized him blankly for a tense moment, but he knew better than to think that she'd let him off lightly. Slowly, she stooped to retrieve the butterfly barrettes that lay on the floor.

Then, she turned to stare at him, her gaze sharpening.

Gadot granted Maqui a horribly demonic grin.

"_Run_."

Maqui wisely took Gadot's advice, and whipped around, plunging straight for the stairs.

**xxXxx**

As Vanille, Fang, and Snow reached the second landing, they were mildly surprised to witness Maqui streaking past them and galloping down the stairs so fast that he didn't notice them at all.

"Looks like Team NORA's up!" Vanille said cheerfully.

Merely seconds later, Lebreau suddenly raced round the corner, leaping right past them just as Maqui had done, dashing down the stairs after the boy.

"Hey! Hey, Maqui! Get over here—_hey_!"

Fang stared. Snow stared. Vanille blinked, then shrugged and skipped off.

"...What the hell?" Snow exploded, breaking the silence.

Fang sighed and moved past him. "Aptly put. If only I knew."

Further down the hall, she heard a delighted squeal rising into the air, sounding distinctly Vanille-ish.

"Gadot! I LOVE your hair! It's SOOO pretty!"

"...ARGH!!"

"Vanille, do you have a death wish?! Unless you want to be a homicide victim, you will get back _now_!"

"But it's so _curly..._"

Fang had finally reached the others. She came to a sudden standstill as she caught sight of Gadot, her mouth falling open in utter shock. She blinked for several seconds, but she couldn't summon any appropriate words.

Lightning sidled up alongside her and hissed, "You'll do well to _say nothing at all_."

Fang closed her mouth and casually breezed past. "Wasn't going to say a word, Farron."

"I really like it this way!" Vanille said earnestly, bouncing up and down in front of Gadot. "I think you should keep it! It's so cute! And—"

"Vanille," Fang said warningly, pausing by the younger girl to place a hand on her shoulder. "Remember what Lightning said..."

"But isn't it so pretty, Fang?" Vanille stretched up on her tiptoes, one hand extended towards Gadot's wealth of orange ringlets.

"Don't touch—"

Vanille pulled one of Gadot's ringlets away from his head, causing it to resemble an elongated coil. Before anyone could stop her, she released the ringlet with a giggle, causing it to spring back into place with a _boing_.

Gadot's eyelid twitched, and he ground out, "_Do. Not. Play. With. My. Hair." _He was visibly restraining himself from choking Vanille to death as he had almost done to Maqui.

_Can't murder Vanille. Fang would freak, and Lightning would beat me to death. Not to mention how the kids would react...._

At that moment, Snow approached the group. Upon beholding Gadot's new makeover, his jaw dropped open in a fashion similar to Fang's.

"Gadot! What...?!"

Gadot groaned and slumped forward, placing his ringlet-crowned head in his hands.

_When I find out just _who _did this....ooh, it ain't gonna be pretty._

**xxXxx**_  
_

Maqui had run out of places to hide.

Trembling in terror, breathing hard from his frantic flight, the boy backed up against the wall.

Lebreau had him cornered. She was advancing upon him, the expression in her dark eyes unforgiving, her weight evenly shifted so she could dart to both sides at a moment's notice, cutting off both means of escape.

Maqui gulped, feeling the unyielding wall pressing against his back.

He was well and truly trapped.

"Why did you do it?" Lebreau's voice was sharp, with the faintest hint of a snarl. "And don't give me that crap about it being April Fool's Day."

Maqui paused, the gears of his mind whirring uselessly as they tried to churn out a reason.

"Um...it was...."

_Darn it! Why did I take those barrettes?!_

"Well, spit it out!" Lebreau demanded, hands on hips, leaning forward.

Maqui gawked up at her in sheer terror. With her hair loose and tumbling forward about her face and shoulders, Lebreau looked even more intimidating than usual.

_...but...she also looks kind of pretty..._

"Maqui, you have ten seconds before I pulverize you."

_Ah! Crap!_

"You...you look really pretty with your hair down!"

Maqui froze in horror as he heard himself blurt out those words impulsively. His mind instantaneously blanked into shock, only able to stutter out a single word:

_Whaaaaaat?!_

But Lebreau was gazing at him, an oddly thoughtful expression in her eyes. However embarrassing his words were, they'd given her pause.

And as Maqui's frantic heartbeat began to subside, he realized that Lebreau...really _did _look pretty with her hair down.

It was as if he suddenly saw an entirely new side of her: something more feminine, something more gentle.

Something that had been there all along, but something he'd never realized.

Lebreau had always been one of the 'guys,' one of the tougher members of Team NORA. The others had always treated her as one of them—ordered her out on the front lines to fight alongside the rest of the big boys—and she was perfectly happy to be treated as such. Lebreau was one of them—she'd known Gadot and Snow from childhood—and it didn't matter that she was a girl.

In fact, what Team NORA needed most was a woman with the ability to control their wild group of passionate young rebels, and Lebreau was exactly that. She actually had sense, and she'd always acted so much older than her nineteen years. She wasn't afraid to smack Yuj and Maqui around when they were being stupid, or mercilessly tease Snow about proclaiming himself a hero, the way she knew irritated him to no end. Even Gadot obeyed her, sometimes.

Lebreau was truly the mother of NORA—a mother figure to this group of motherless, a tough but comforting guardian to these kids playing heroes.

But she wasn't afraid at all of battling up front—oh, no. She could fight just as well as any man on NORA; she could tote her own gun like the big boys, and she was darn proud of it, too—gun cocked high over her shoulder, hip slung confidently out to the side.

And NORA had seen Lebreau for who she was: a fighter, an older sister, a mother figure.

But here stood that same woman, gazing at Maqui, her dark hair flowing loose over her shoulders, the expression in her large dark eyes unexpectedly vulnerable, the soft light streaming in through the window tracing the shape of her jaw and lips, emphasizing her high cheekbones.

Maqui swallowed, unable to stop himself from staring.

_Oh, fal'Cie curse it all..._

Perhaps it was because she appeared so unpredictably feminine, illuminated in this gentle light. Perhaps it was because he'd finally seen the beautiful woman that was Lebreau. Perhaps it was...because...

_Ah! I can't think like that!!_

...Gadot had definitely shaken him a bit too hard.

"Maqui."

The boy gulped.

"L-Lebreau?"

She let the silence hang there between them, heavy and awkward, stretching thinner and thinner, like an unwinding filament of metal, until Maqui felt as though he was going to shatter from the tightly wound tension.

"Haha, Maqui..._not good enough_!!"

Maqui screamed and fled as Lebreau pounced upon him, her grin all things demonically mischievous.

He didn't run fast enough.


	2. Progression of Pandemonium

**A/N: Wow! Thanks for all your lovely reviews, guys! You have no idea how happy Nighty is! xD **

**So you can expect weekly updates from now on—at least, I'll really try. :) Oh, and as an aside, some of the pranks here in this fic are actually pranks that my friends and I have tried! xD **

**Keep those reviews coming, please! :D I love constructive critique! :)**

* * *

Serah opened her eyes.

Warm sunlight filtered weakly into her bedroom, causing her lashes to flutter slightly in protest, hovering at the edges of her curtain as if requesting to be allowed inside.

Her eyes heavy with sleep, she lifted herself up onto her elbows and drowsily examined her vicinity. The place that Snow usually occupied beside her was empty.

For a brief moment, Serah was alarmed.

_Oh, he probably just went to the bathroom or something...he'll be back soon. _

Serah let her head fall back against the pillow, reassured, and curled up in the blankets. Her fiancé was a big boy; he could take care of himself.

Serah didn't know just how wrong she was.

**xxXxx**

It had been exactly two hours since the initiating bathroom incident.

Hope stealthily made his way down towards the kitchen, sliding carefully down the wall and periodically checking over his shoulder in a furtive manner.

However, considering he still had a blanket bound about his waist in order to conceal his too-short shorts, he didn't look very stealthy.

Hope was determined to exact his revenge upon Snow. He still fumed inwardly about the entire prank with the trousers. Snow had taken all of his pants and left him with little more than a size XXXL trousers and his dignity—and even that was rapidly diminishing.

_He's probably laughing his head off about it right now...._

Hope seethed silently, just thinking about it.

But, oh, was Snow going to _get_ it.

It was April Fool's Day, wasn't it? The entire concept was to prank your friends and laugh at their reactions. If Snow could do something so horrible and inhumane as to _steal _all of his pants, Hope was therefore perfectly entitled to torture Snow in the exact same manner until April Fool's Day ended.

He stole silently into the dark, vacant kitchen, creeping towards the refrigerator.

Someone suddenly screamed from upstairs.

Hope jolted upwards, hitting his head on the shelf of jars above him. The jar of strawberry jam tottered unsteadily, and to his horror, unbalanced and rolled speedily towards the end of the shelf.

_Oh, no! That's Serah's favorite jam flavor!_

"N-no, no, NO!" Hope hissed, desperately racing towards the end of the shelf and thrusting out his hands. The jar serenely dropped off the shelf—conveniently landing in his hands.

"That was close—"

A tremendous crash of shattering glass resounded throughout the kitchen, abruptly cutting off Hope's statement as he accidentally tripped on the edge of his blanket.

Hope stared down in dismay at the glass scattered over the kitchen floor, as well as the lovely glop of strawberry jam wobbling in the center of the chaos.

_Lightning's going to kill me. Not to mention what Serah's going to do..._

Hope looked frantically about him for a dustpan and cloth with which to clear away the glass. Finding none, he knelt down and gingerly brushed a few shards of glass together into a small pile.

"OUCH!"

Wincing, Hope stuck his now-bleeding finger into his mouth and scanned the kitchen once more. It was then that he spotted the broom tucked into the corner between the back counter and the refrigerator.

Hope felt like hitting himself in the forehead at his apparent stupidity, but he refrained from doing so, and instead hurriedly ran to clear up the mess of shattered glass before someone came downstairs.

**xxXxx**

Vanille giggled as she watched Gadot fruitlessly attempt to straighten his hair, as he'd been doing for the past fifteen minutes. As of yet, they could identify no visible changes.

"Argh!" Gadot threw down Serah's flat iron and crushed fistfuls of his new curls in his massive hands in a fit of incompetent fury.

"I'm telling you," Fang said, watching from the door, "those curls of yours aren't going to leave for a _long _time."

"Now, Gadot," Snow said, attempting to reason with his friend, "it's all right. It'll probably be easier to fix by tomorrow."

"You mean I have to go through a _whole day _looking like _this_?!" Gadot roared hysterically, on the verge of tears. Snow winced at this potentially fatal mistake.

"No, of course not," he hastened to say. "We could, um—"

"Before Snow goes off on a self-glorifying spiel about his alleged omnipotence," Fang interrupted, "let me say just this, Gadot. Whoever styled your hair into these curls obviously meant them to last for a while. I mean, look at these!" She flicked a ringlet hanging over Gadot's left ear, shaking her head. "I'm sorry to say this, but these are going to be one heck of a problem to get rid of. And there is nothing anyone can do about it."

Gadot stared up at Fang, open-mouthed.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Fang said, lifting one shoulder apologetically. "But there's really nothing we can do until we give it some time."

Gadot's bottom lip trembled dangerously. A moment later, he flung himself down upon the vanity and broke down, bawling violently. The vanity sagged to one side, two of the delicate legs collapsing beneath the force of the man's weight.

"Couldn't you have _thought _about it before you'd spoken?" Snow hissed, glaring daggers at Fang.

Fang raised an eyebrow. "Look who's talking, Mr. Village Oaf. In any case, we can't coddle him. Better he gets used to the idea now than later."

"Yes, but—!" Snow gestured in frustration to his still-sobbing friend, hunched over the vanity.

Meanwhile, Vanille had skipped over to the vanity. After several moments of tilting her head and watching Gadot curiously, she gave the man an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

"See?" Snow gesticulated towards Vanille. "That's the way to do it, Fang."

At that moment, Vanille chose to chirp helpfully, "It's okay, Gadot. Hairstyling was never your forte, anyway!"

Gadot's vociferous blubbering increased in volume.

Fang snorted and rolled her eyes, striding towards the door. "Yeah, I'm going to leave you and your orange friend to hold a counseling session, then." She paused at the doorway, scornfully throwing out a hand. "You obviously can't listen to sense."

Snow leaped up. "Now, wait just a minute, you—!"

"Wait!" Vanille cried suddenly. Both Snow and Fang turned to look at her. "Where's Lightning?"

"What—?" Snow glanced around him. "She was here just a moment ago! Where'd she go?!"

"Hell if I know," sighed Fang, already on her way out the door. "But most likely she left to escape the pair of you."

Snow gritted his teeth together, but wisely decided to let the comment slide. "Well, go look for her, will you?" he called through the doorway. "Almost everyone is up already."

"Sure, sure, whatever." Fang paused and turned back towards the room. "Come on, Vanille! Let's go find Light."

"All right!" Vanille skipped cheerfully out of the room and bounced ahead of Fang down the hallway.

Fang chuckled and followed the younger girl. "You lead the way, Vanille."

"You know," Vanille said suddenly, stopping and twirling about to face her friend, "it just occurred to me. Why don't we just call Lightning? You know she always has her phone on. If we just called her, we wouldn't have to go running all over the whole house to look for her! And especially since...."

Vanille continued chattering on, but Fang didn't hear a single word.

An utterly heinous plan was already forming in the manically dark depths of her diabolical mind.

_Phone...Lightning...phone...Lightning..._

"Fang?" Vanille was staring at her inquisitively, tilting her head. "_Hello_!"

_...prank._

A wicked, devious smirk slowly spread itself across Fang's face as her cogitation finally reached its conclusion.

"Oh, yes, Vanille....Let's _call _Lightning."

**xxXxx**

On the third floor, a door slowly creaked open.

A small figure crept out from behind the door and made its way quietly towards the stairs, moving in an odd toddling gait. A tinier figure soared out after it, flapping equally tiny wings by its shoulder.

Like two shadows, the unidentifiable forms stole towards the stairs. The first figure grabbed the banister and tottered slowly down the steps, while the second zoomed on ahead, zipping back occasionally to accompany its partner.

Who were these two mysterious figures? An April Fool's Day demon, perhaps, with an accomplice, come to stir up some mischief?

...Not quite.

"Come on!" whispered Dajh, motioning to the chocobo chick. "While Daddy's still asleep!"

The chocobo, perching on the banister, cocked his head sideways and leaped off, cheeping as he fluttered after the little boy.

Climbing all these stairs was hard work for a little boy. Dajh had to keep stopping every so often to give his short little legs a break as he toddled his way down the two long flights of steps.

However, he was enormously proud of himself. Dajh had managed to sneak out from his bedroom without Daddy noticing! He'd managed to sneak out with Chocobo without _anyone _noticing!

He was a master spy, now!

Dajh was so excited. Only the other day, Snow had carried him all about the house and told him that he had the makings of a true NORA fighter. Then Lightning had started yelling at Snow, something about "stop trying to corrupt innocent kids into becoming your lackeys!", and she'd called him a "bumbling oaf."

Dajh thought that was hilariously funny.

Then Lightning had told Dajh to never, ever listen to Snow, and not to spend too much time with Team NORA. Snow had gotten very mad, and he and Lightning had gotten into a shouting match.

But then again, Snow and Lightning were always getting into shouting matches. And if Lightning wasn't yelling at Snow, she was yelling at Fang.

Dajh had asked Serah once why Lightning was always being mad at Snow. Serah had just shaken her head and told him that it was "very complicated" before quickly leaving. Dajh didn't understand.

Then he had had the brilliant idea of asking Lightning herself. Surely Lightning would be able to explain why she was always being mean to Snow?

...What had followed was a three-hour-long tirade composed entirely of Lightning ranting on about how she considered Snow an "embarrassment" and an "idiot", and if it weren't for Serah's pleas, he wouldn't be marrying her sister at all.

Dajh fell asleep for most of it, but he did remember Lightning raging for a long time about how her sister would be changing her name from "Serah Farron" to "Serah Villiers."

...Right.

Dajh still didn't understand.

Oh well. Maybe it was one of those things that everyone said he would understand when he was _older_.

Shaking his head quizzically, Dajh continued waddling down the stairs.

Before long, he reached the first floor, where he proceeded to toddle rapidly down the hall, the chocobo chick fluttering after him.

Oh boy, oh boy! Now Dajh could finally become a brave adventurer just like Daddy and the others! Now he could set out on a quest and save the world, just like Snow said he was always doing (although Lightning would only get angry at him again), and everyone would be so proud of him! Now he could fight a big Pulse monster like the ones Aunt Fang and Auntie Vanille were always telling him about, and there would be no one to stop him! Now he could...he could—

...Dajh was hungry.

The little boy paused in the middle of the hall. This was something that he hadn't anticipated.

...He _could_ always get back to his quest later.

So Dajh took a detour from his journey and cheerily bounced into the kitchen in search of food, the chocobo twittering from his perch in his hair.

Upon entering the kitchen, Dajh suddenly noticed the blanket-cloaked lump crouched in the middle of the floor, creeping across the boards.

Dajh's eyes widened, and his gaze followed the movement of the strange creature sneaking about in his kitchen.

It was _creeping_...it was _crawling...._

It was...it was—_it was a monster_!!

Dajh gasped and huddled against the wall, his little six-year-old mind working furiously. There was a big scary monster hiding in his kitchen! He had to go tell Daddy and Lightning!

But wait! What if he defeated the monster on his own, he and Chocobo, and brought it back to Daddy and Lightning? Wouldn't they be proud of him? They would know that Dajh was big and strong enough to be a fighter just like them!

Cautiously, Dajh poked his head around the side of the wall, wide-eyed. The chocobo peeped over his shoulder.

The monster was shuffling around the kitchen, muttering to itself. Dajh quickly withdrew his head and crouched down.

Snow always said that real heroes didn't need plans. But Lightning always said that was stupid—and so was Snow. However, Dajh needed a plan, now. He didn't have Snow's advantage of immense brawn and muscle, or Lightning's experienced cunning.

...He did have, however, the element of surprise.

Yes! That was it! He had to scare the monster! Then the monster would run away, and Dajh would be a hero!

Dajh peeked at the monster once more. He glanced over his shoulder at Chocobo, who now perched there, waiting eagerly for his orders.

Dajh held up four fingers.

"One...two..._three_!! **_CHARGE_**!!!!"

At once, toddler and chocobo dashed straight into the kitchen, screaming a fierce war cry....well, in Chocobo's case, cheeping. Dajh leaped straight onto the monster's back and began pummeling its head with his fists, while the chick pecked mercilessly at the monster's ears.

"Die! Die! Die!" Dajh chanted.

"OWWWW!!" yelled the monster. "_HEY!!! **STOP IT**!!!!"_

"Hope?!" Dajh immediately clambered off the "monster's" back. "Uncle Hope, is that you?!"

"_Yes_!" grumbled the teen, standing up and painfully clutching his shoulder. "You've torn me to shreds!"

"Sorry, Uncle Hope!" chirped Dajh, the chocobo returning to his afro. "I thought you were a monster!"

"What...?" Hope shook his head, deciding not to pursue that line of conversation. "Never mind. Just—what in the name of Etro are you doing out of bed?"

Dajh beamed up at him.

"I'M BEING A HERO!!" the six-year-old proclaimed proudly, puffing out his chest. The chick trilled what sounded like a victory call.

"...Uh-huh. That's nice, Dajh." Hope cautiously edged around him and attempted to reach the refrigerator. However, the toddler was standing directly in his path. "Um, Dajh, do you think you could...uh, move?"

But Dajh wasn't paying any attention. He reached forward and curiously prodded Hope in the leg.

"Uncle Hope, why are you wearing a dress today?"

"What—? I'm not wearing a—"

Hope looked down at himself and remembered that the blanket was still tied about his waist. Inwardly uttering curses of frustration, he reached forward, grabbing for the handle of the freezer and missing.

"Dajh, please, could you move?"

"You look very silly in a dress!" Dajh giggled.

Hope groaned. "It's _not _a dress. It's a blanket. Now, please...?"

"Okay!" Dajh happily hopped aside.

Hope sighed in relief. "_Thank _you, Dajh."

He opened the freezer and reached inside, fumbling around all the other items of food for the secret weapon that he'd placed for preparation at the very back. His fingers closed around the object and he pulled out—

...a toothbrush cup holder filled with frozen water.

With several toothbrushes frozen in it.

"Hope?" Dajh was staring innocently up at him. "Why did you freeze the toothbrushes?"

"I need it for—uh, something." Now having retrieved what he'd come for, Hope took the lid from his shirt pocket, capped the holder, and turned to exit the kitchen.

"But they're going to be _cold_!" Dajh's high-pitched protest rang through the house. Hope froze.

"Sssh!" he hissed to Dajh. "Be _quiet_! Listen, I froze the toothbrushes for a reason. I'm going to play an April Fool's Day prank on Snow, and that's because he took all my pants. That's the reason why I'm wearing a blanket right now! So don't say a word, okay?"

Dajh blinked up at him.

"Okay!"

Hope let out a sigh of relief, patted Dajh's head, and left the kitchen.

Dajh remained standing in the middle of the floor, his nose screwed up in concentration.

He still didn't get why Hope had frozen the toothbrushes. The poor toothbrushes were going to be _cold_! What if they were still freezing when they woke up? Dajh was very worried.

Wait...

Was Hope mad at Snow, _too_?!

...Now Dajh really didn't understand.

**xxXxx**

Lightning leaned against her bedroom door, hearing the latch click securely shut. Breathing the deepest of relieved sighs, she slid down to the floor. She allowed her head to loll back, exhaling softly.

She'd taken the first possible chance to escape from the group while everyone had been in an uproar over Gadot's new coiffure. She knew that Serah loved Snow, but _honestly_, how could someone be as much of an idiot as he was?

She _swore_, if she'd hadn't left the group as quickly as possible, Gadot wouldn't have been the only one sporting a new makeover.

She honestly couldn't see what her younger sister saw in him, at all.

_Ring ring ring!_

Lightning jumped a little as she felt her cell phone, contained in the red leather pouch strapped to her thigh, vibrate against her leg. She fumbled with the buckles, surprised, and extracted her phone, flipping it open as her ringtone played over and over again.

She didn't recognize the number, but then again, only her housemates and Lieutenant Amodar had her phone number. It was unlikely that the latter would be calling at eight in the morning; logically, it should be one of the others.

And Lightning was not in the mood to speak to any of them at that moment.

The phone continued to ring, humming in her hand.

_Oh, what heck._

Lightning accepted the call and lifted the phone to her ear. "What?" she snapped into the phone.

A short pause.

"Lightning...?"

The voice was deep, husky, masculine. Lightning frowned, unable to match up the voice with anyone she knew.

"Who is this?"

Another pause.

"...Cid."

Lightning's eyes widened, and a silent gasp slipped from her lips. Slowly, she stood up, placing one hand against the door for support. "Cid?" she managed, grateful that her voice maintained its usual sternness when she'd felt like she'd been hit by a stampeding chocobo.

"Cid. Cid Raines. You remember me?"

"Cid. How...?" Lightning tried to clear her thoughts. "You...you sound a little different."

"It's me, Light."

"How—how the hell did you get my number?!"

"Eh...Snow gave it to me. Said he thought it might be good for me to speak to you."

_That idiot buffoon. I should have guessed._

Lightning seethed inwardly, but outwardly, she retorted, "So? What do you have to say?"

"Lightning...I wanted to say I was sorry. For everything."

_Oh, Etro._

"Is that so? Maybe you'd like to apologize for how you _betrayed _everyone, Raines." She'd left the pain of Cid's betrayal in the past, but his voice on the phone suddenly brought back every stab of treachery in the flesh, in cold, cruel clarity.

"Lightning...I know it may be hard for you to understand...but I really am sorry. To you, and to everyone. And...."

His voice hesitated.

"And?" Lightning's voice was firm and coldly professional.

"Lightning...I...."

His voice filtered through the phone, uncertain and cautious. Lightning closed her eyes. Through the silence that pervaded their conversation, she heard the faintest sound of someone giggling.

Her eyes snapped open.

"Raines? What was that?"

"Oh...that was..."

The giggling sound amplified, and Lightning's eyes went wide with shock as she heard a feminine voice whisper over the phone, "This is so _mean _of you, Fang!"

"Shush, Vanille! She might hear—"

"**FANG**?!" bellowed Lightning, instantly enraged.

"Oh, _crap_!"

"**_FANG_**!!!" Lightning was up on her feet now, roaring directly into the phone. "YOU FAL'CIE-CURSED DEMON!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IN THE WORST IMAGINABLE WAY POSSIBLE AND HANG UP YOUR DEAD BODY OUTSIDE MY **BEDROOM DOOR**!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!!! **I'M GOING TO KILL YOU**!!! I'M GOING TO—"

Click.

_Your call has ended._

Lightning was left staring at her phone, wide-eyed with fury, breathing heavily.

"_AARRGH_!"

She dashed the phone violently to the floor, where it skittered beneath her bed as if terrified.

Slowly, Lightning turned to face the door. The room seemed to instantaneously darken as thunderbolts of fury gathered in her ominous eyes, crackling with wrathful energy.

Lightning would not let this rest. She vowed to avenge herself for this cruel insult—and she would do it in the most vicious method conceivable.

"This means _war_, Fang," she snarled. "_This means **war**._"

**xxXxx**

Fang snickered as she disconnected the phone. Having achieved the desired culmination, she mentally patted herself on the back for her newfound skills in mimicry. Then she gave herself another mental pat on the back for winning the "Best Prank" Award in advance.

Yes, Lightning was now ticked-off as _hell_. But her reaction was so hilarious, Fang was quite content to let Lightning throw her revenge in return. And she knew exactly what Lightning had said.

"Bring it on, Farron," she said, smirking.


	3. Arrangement of Allies

**A/N: Hi, everybody! *quickly ducks to hide behind chair* **

**I know, I know! This is extremely LONG overdue...you have no idea how much this was killing me inside...D: **

**I was really unable to post this chapter until today. I've been so busy with everything—school, homework, piano, and ten hours of theater directing a week—that it was so difficult to update. I'm so sorry to everyone who's been following this fanfiction. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but I can keep my promise that I'll try. **

**forgivemeplz?**

**And, yeah...it's May now and all, so this obviously isn't going to finish before April. *sigh* Darn busy life...**

**Well, I'll let you get on with the chapter, then. :D A little shorter than usual, since I got up early to write this before I have to leave for school.**

**

* * *

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Fang could be so _evil_ sometimes, Vanille reflected, attempting to stifle her giggles in vain as she skipped back up the stairs to the second floor. Halfway up the steps, she twirled about and put her hands on her hips, facing her companion, who had only just reached the bottom of the stairs.

"_That_," Vanille announced, "was _very _mean, Fang."

The other woman glanced up at her, mouth still curled in amusement. She spread her hands in what was supposed to be an innocently helpless gesture, but the purely demonic smirk on her face ruined it somewhat. "Hey, don't blame me, Missy. This is _Light _we're talking about."

Vanille giggled and skipped back downstairs, hands clasped over her mouth. "That was _hilarious, _Fang! But so _mean _all the same."

Fang grinned affectionately at her and tucked a lock of coral hair behind the girl's ear. "She's going to raise hell, you wait and see. But it was darn well worth it."

Vanille laughed, shaking her head. "Where are you going to hide?"

"That's a question well asked." Fang raised her head, her gaze passing with apparent nonchalance over her surroundings. "Don't know yet. Maybe I'll go and camp out with Snow and his Team NORA buffoons for a bit. Knowing that heroic oaf, he'll probably be stupid enough to charge headlong in front of Lightning before she attacks me. I think we can all easily spare Snow as cannon fodder, should the need arise." She winked.

Vanille giggled into her hands. "Fang, you're _evil_!"

"Hey, so are you. You didn't try to stop me when I pranked Light, did you? Just stood there and laughed. You're still just as culpable, girlie. I wouldn't be surprised if Lightning hung up your dead body right alongside mine on her bedroom door."

The other girl's only response was laughter, once more. "We'd better run and hide, then, Fang."

"Good idea. Let's split up. Makes it harder for Light to locate both of us at the same time."

Vanille grinned mischievously. "She's probably only looking for you, though."

And she darted away, before Fang could do more than indignantly shout, "_Hey_!"

"See you!" Vanille called blithely, fleeing upstairs. "Take care of yourself, Fang!" Her words were followed by a carefree giggle that lingered in the stairwell for a while after she'd left.

Fang sighed and shook her head, putting her hands on her hips. However, her lips were curved into a smile of amusement. As long as Vanille was happy, the dark-haired warrior was willing to let the younger girl enjoy her little jokes...even at her own expense.

_Well, then. Better get started escaping before Sunshine finds me and initiates her rampage. _

She turned and hurried back down the hall the way she'd come, intending to seek out Snow (she actually _hadn't_ been kidding about using him as cannon fodder in the possibility of a Lightning-induced rampage).

Before she reached the end, however, there was a disturbance in the universe.

...Namely, a disturbance in the form of a hyperactive afro-toting six-year-old and his chocobo companion skidding out from around the corner without warning and nearly crashing into Fang.

"_Whoa_!" Fang stumbled backwards, knocked off balance. "Watch yourself, kid!"

Dajh beamed up at Fang, undeterred.

"HI, AUNT FANG!!!"

"Hey, Dajh." Fang righted herself and patted the child's voluminous hair, smiling when her fingers bumped against a second head. The chocobo chick surfaced, twittering indignantly, and floated down to perch on Dajh's shoulder.

"You two are up early," Fang observed, shifting her weight to one hip. "What are the pair of you up to?"

Dajh giggled and clapped his little hands gleefully together.

"We're gonna go find a _biiiig_ Pulse monster!" he proclaimed. "And we're gonna defeat it, too, and bring it back for Daddy and Lightning!"

Fang suppressed a chuckle as she looked down at the earnestly grinning child.

"Quite the heroes, aren't you? Well, don't let me get in your way. Go on, and make sure you show me that '_biiiig _Pulse monster' later, too. I don't want to be left out of all of the fun."

"Don't worry, Aunt Fang!" The six-year-old puffed out his little chest fearlessly. "I'll save everyone!"

Fang couldn't stop the snicker that escaped from her lips; she swore, the little one was becoming more and more like Snow every passing day.

"Oh, and guess what?" Dajh piped up cheerfully.

"What?" Fang glanced down amusedly at the toddler.

"UNCLE HOPE'S WEARING A **DRESS** TODAY!!"

And with that, the toddler zoomed past her and down the hallway, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.

...as well as a very confused Fang with many, many questions to ask. Oh, _so_ many questions.

**xxXxx**

Lightning skidded down the hall, swerved dangerously around the corner, barely missing the edge of the wall, and tore towards the stairs, ablaze with rage.

_Once I find Fang...._

Lightning's teeth connected solidly, grinding together in barely controlled fury. At her sides, her hands tightened into fists, viciously throttling the air, as if she'd like to do the same to Fang's neck.

At the end of the hallway, a figure suddenly appeared.

Lightning's wild eyes widened. Through the lurid red mist of bloodlust that had suddenly pervaded her senses, the figure instantly took on the shape and form of Fang before her eyes.

_Fang. Must. Die!_

Her jaw tightened, and she charged towards the figure, screaming insanely.

The figure whipped around to face her, eyes instantly dilating in horror as they registered the berserk soldier, and began screeching in terror.

"LIGHTNING! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!!"

The high-pitched scream cut through to Lightning's ears, and the bloodlust faded from her gaze. Lightning suddenly found herself standing six feet away from Snow, glaring maniacally upwards at the quaking man, her Blazefire Saber raised over her head and poised to strike.

"W-what the _hell_, Light?!" Snow spluttered hysterically, arms raised protectively over his face. "I'm just coming down the hallway, and then you come charging at me like—"

He gesticulated wildly with his hands, unable to find any words to sufficiently describe his sister-in-law. He finally settled on sputtering, "_What the **hell **were you thinking_?!"

The horrified squeak in his voice finally struck in Lightning's mind.

Slowly, she lowered her gunblade to a less threatening position, her temporarily fled senses flooding back to her. The insane fury she'd experienced before drained away, to be replaced by a profound sense of exhaustion and guilt.

Lightning shook her head, closing her eyes briefly. What, indeed, had she been thinking?

_Thank Etro it was only Snow. If it had been anyone else..._

She shuddered to think of being found in such an undignified state by anyone else except for Snow, who was constantly so undignified it didn't matter.

Lightning's hatred for Fang returned in full force.

_Fang _was the cause of this. _She _was to blame.

Lightning shook her head, realizing her thoughts were beginning to spiral out of control once more. She returned her gaze to the still-quivering Snow.

"I'm sorry, Snow. I—thought you were someone else."

"What? Me?" Snow glanced down at himself. "I don't think you can possibly mistake me for someone else, unless it was Gadot."

"No. Not Gadot. Fang." Lightning sighed, allowing the back of her hand to rest against her forehead.

"Fang—?"

Snow raised an eyebrow, inviting further explanation.

"Yes, _Fang_," Lightning snarled, narrowing her eyes at Snow, who immediately returned to a defensive position. The mere mention of the name instantly induced the resurgence of her loathing. "I suggest that if you don't want to be beaten to a pulp and smashed mercilessly against the wall, you will cease intruding in my affairs and go back to whatever you were doing."

Snow hesitantly approached Lightning and placed a cautious hand on her shoulder.

"Light...you know Serah loves you. She hates seeing you unhappy...it makes her unhappy. And...if she's unhappy, I'm unhappy. We're family now, Sis. You should be able to talk to us."

"Interfering in my business is _not _talking to my family," Lightning said coldly, drawing herself upright and moving away from Snow. "Get out of my way."

Snow held up his hands in deference, surrendering to Lightning.

"Okay, Sis. Have it your way. But you know you can talk to us whenever you like." He paused, giving the tense-framed Lightning a sidelong glance. "Hey...you know...if it was Fang, I wouldn't get too worked up. She does this stuff all the time; it's kind of her thing."

Lightning glared at him, and it took every ounce of Snow's courage not to quail under her forceful gaze. "Says the idiot who threw a temper fit this morning over a prank that _Fang _orchestrated."

Snow winced, his jaw tightening slightly as he recalled the incident. "Oh, yeah. I'm still kind of mad about that—"

_So much for not getting too worked up. _

"This needs to stop." Lightning turned away from him and walked down the hallway, concealing the vengeful irritation simmering near her surface beneath her customary cold exterior.

_Fang. That fal'Cie cursed fiend....Just wait until I find her._

"Hey!" Snow called from several paces behind her. "Where're you going?"

"To find Fang," Lightning muttered bitterly, sweeping towards the stairs.

"Wait up, then!" Snow called, hurrying to catch up with her. "I—I want to come, too!"

"_What_?" Lightning turned to face him, hands on hips.

Snow skidded to a stop. Glancing sheepishly down, he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Uh...you see...I'm still kind of ticked off about that whole bathroom prank...I mean, it was a really mean thing to do...and really embarrassing to clean up, and everything—"

"Oh, shut up!" Lightning snapped, cutting him off. "You'll only get in my way."

"No, I won't!" Snow vigorously shook his head. "Whatever you've got planned to get revenge against Fang, I'm all for it."

Lightning narrowed her eyes at him, considering the unexpected offer of alliance.

"...Fine," she relented after a moment's pause. "You can come. But," she added, leveling a threatening finger at his face, "if you screw up once, just _once_, you'll find yourself wishing you_ were_ Fang."

Snow nodded vehemently. "All right, Sis!"

Lightning sighed and turned away, rubbing her forehead wearily as she wondered what exactly she had gotten herself into.

"Come on, then."

**xxXxx**

Vanille, leaning over the side of the banister, withdrew her head and crouched down in the shadow of the stairs, giggling quietly.

Oh, Fang was going to _get _it.

Of course, Vanille hadn't missed the amusing exchange between Lightning and Snow belowstairs on the first floor. So Lightning and Snow were teaming up and plotting revenge against Fang, now?

This was going to be pure and utter chaos.

_Fun to watch, anyhow._

Vanille covered her mouth with both hands and quickly peered over the side of the banister once more. Lightning and Snow had disappeared.

_Probably gone to look for Fang..._

Vanille briefly considered warning Fang, but then decided against it. This would be so much more fun if both parties were unaware of what the other was doing.

"HI, AUNTIE VANILLE!!!"

Vanille nearly leaped clear out of her skin. She whirled around, only to crash into Dajh, who immediately bounced back, beaming widely.

"Dajh!" Vanille smiled and leaned down, stroking his hair. "You startled me, you silly little boy!"

Dajh giggled, his eyes crinkling in laughter, and hugged Vanille around the legs. Within the family, he was most affectionate with Sazh, Lightning, Serah, and Vanille.

"I saw Aunt Fang, Vanille!"

"Did you?" Vanille smiled. "What was she doing?"

"She asked me to bring her back a big Pulse monster!" Dajh straightened proudly to his full three feet and ten inches of height.

"And I'm sure you'll do just that." Vanille tapped the six-year-old's nose fondly. Suddenly, she stood up, putting a hand to her chin as she frowned in thought. "Wait a moment....aren't you supposed to still be asleep?"

"NOPE!" Dajh proclaimed. Lowering his voice to an exaggerated whisper, he confided to Vanille, "I snuck out while Daddy was asleep!"

"...Oh."

**xxXxx**

In the safety of his bedroom, Sazh shifted restlessly and turned in his sleep.

"Dajh, don't tease the chocobo," he muttered drowsily, and slept again.

**xxXxx**

"And Daddy doesn't know that Dajh is awake!" the six-year-old finished gleefully.

Vanille tapped her fingers on her chin in consideration, swinging back and forth. "Aren't you afraid your daddy will worry about you?"

Dajh wrinkled his nose in a frown as this new thought occurred to him. "Daddy knows I'll be okay!" he proclaimed at last, brushing off all doubts with his usual childlike self-assurance.

Vanille giggled. "If you say so!"

"Oh, and Auntie Vanille!" Dajh bounced up and down. "I saw Uncle Hope in the kitchen!"

Vanille tilted her head curiously. "But Light said he'd lost his pants....Hope was looking for pants in the _kitchen_?"

"No!" Dajh shook his head. "He was freezing toothbrushes!"

This statement was so unexpected, Vanille was left utterly speechless. She blinked several times.

"... Freezing..._toothbrushes_?"

"Yep!" Dajh nodded and skipped in place. "Something about a prank, and Snow...."

Vanille had to wonder whether the loss of his pants had somehow caused Hope to take leave of his senses. She shrugged it off, not dwelling for too long on the subject. Oh well.

Dajh was still rambling on, completely unaware that his audience's thoughts had drifted elsewhere. "And I was afraid the toothbrushes would get too cold, and then they'd get hyper—hypo—hi-something—"

_Hmm...I'd like to see what Hope comes up with...a prank involving freezing toothbrushes...._

"Dajh!" Vanille suddenly exclaimed, causing the six-year-old to jump with a cry of surprise, interrupting himself in the midst of his rambling. She leaned down and excitedly addressed Dajh. "Do you know what day it is today?"

Dajh stared back at her with large, innocently questioning eyes.

"...My birthday?"

Vanille laughed. "No, not that. It's April Fool's Day! That means we can go play pranks on people! You know, play tricks on them and confuse them! It's a lot of fun! That's what everybody else is doing today!"

"Oh!" Dajh exclaimed, quickly catching on. "Let's do that too, Auntie Vanille!"

Vanille giggled and clapped her hands together. "All right, Dajh! Now who do we play it on?"

"Hmm...." Dajh mulled this over for a few moments. Suddenly, he brightened.

"_DADDY_!"

The coral-haired teenager burst into laughter. "That's _evil_, Dajh!" she cried, before adding, "But that's pure genius! We can play a prank on Sazh!"

Excitedly, she took the child's hands and swung him around several times, giggling, before setting him safely back down on his feet.

"Now...what's going to be our prank?"

Dajh considered her question for a few minutes, before piping up, "Daddy painted the balcony recently. It's all white paint, and he's really proud of it."

"_Yes_!" Vanille crowed, leaping upwards. "That's perfect! You're a genius, Dajh! I have the idea for the _perfect _prank!"

She bent down and took his hand, walking him to the stairs. "You go ahead down to the balcony first, Dajh," she told him. "I'm going to get some stuff that we're going to need for our prank first. Go on! Meet you down there!"

Vanille hurried down the hallway, grinning to herself. Her green eyes were full of pure, mischievous intent.

_Not even Fang could have planned better herself!_

_**xxXxx**  
_

Lightning loved children, she really did.

...Well, sort of.

Failing, that, she loved Dajh especially. Dajh was a sweet kid; everyone adored him. Of course, the entire family spoiled him to high heaven, but he was so adorable that no one minded his occasional whining, as all six-year-olds are wont to do.

However, when said six-year-old is standing directly in one's path when one is ablaze with vengeance and ready to hunt down and murder one's tormentor, and refuses to budge an inch whatsoever, well...one tends to react not-so-favorably.

As Lightning was very close to demonstrating.

"And Vanille just went to find some stuff, and she told me to go to the balcony, and..."

Dajh's insistent high-pitched chatter was like a fly buzzing in her ears. Lightning pushed her hand wearily against her forehead.

_Oh, for the love of Etro...._

"Dajh, sweetie," she interrupted for the umpteenth time, ever-so-slightly grinding her teeth. "If Vanille told you to wait for her at the balcony, don't you think you should _go_ there?"

"But Dajh _likes _talking to Lightning!" Dajh protested, and threw his arms around Lightning's legs.

From behind Lightning, Snow snickered.

Lightning shot her ally her fiercest glare. "Shut _up, _Snow," she hissed.

_I'm going to have to speak with Vanille. I've noticed that Dajh keeps switching to the third person and hugging people whenever he's begging for favors or trying to be sweet. As if it's supposed to be cute or something. No doubt Vanille taught him that..._

Dajh hugged Lightning tighter.

"Doesn't Lightning like Dajh, too?" he whimpered like an abandoned cub, with a pleading expression in his large brown eyes that would have melted the coldest of hearts to a puddle.

_Don't look at him, don't look at him..._

Lightning couldn't help but glance down at the six-year-old clinging to the lower half of her body. A fatal mistake, as it turned out.

_...Dang it._

Lightning sighed, her shoulders slumping down, and relented.

"Yes, Dajh, I love you too," she grumbled.

Dajh beamed up at her. "YAY!!!" he squealed, and hugged her once more before turning to Snow and throwing his arms up in the air. "Up, up!" he demanded.

Snow laughed. "All right, fine, you little tyrant. Up you go!" He effortlessly lifted Dajh, giggling and squirming, onto his shoulder, holding him securely there with one arm.

Lightning rolled her eyes. "You drop that kid, Snow, and you'll have a hell of a lot of trouble once Sazh finds out."

Snow flashed a grin at her. "Relax, Sis. I can take care of the kid. You're a strong little soldier, aren't you?" he asked Dajh, who nodded happily. "Strong enough to be my best NORA fighter someday!"

"Oh, no, you don't." Lightning whipped around and pointed a finger at Snow. "I don't need you training that kid into becoming a second Snow Villiers under this roof, thank you."

Snow looked offended. "You mean you don't consider me a role model?"

"Stop trying to act cute, Snow. Last time I checked, you were twenty-one, not two."

Snow heaved a dramatic sigh and set Dajh back on his feet.

"Run along then, kid," he told him. "Go wherever Vanille told you to go."

"Okay!" Dajh smiled and toddled off, waving. "Bye, Uncle Snow! Bye, Aunt Lightning!"

Yes, Lightning _did _love Dajh. However, she couldn't stop the sigh of relief that escaped her lips after he'd disappeared from view.

The soldier turned to face Snow.

"Hurry up, Snow. We've already wasted enough time as it is. I'm not planning to hang around until Fang finds us and executes something even more destructive."

Snow sighed.

"All right, fine. Keep your hair on, I'm coming."


	4. Situation of Stratagems

**A/N: Yes, I finally updated... *falls onto ground, weeping from exhaustion***

**DON'T KILL ME, PLEASE. D:**

**My customary author's note is placed at the end of the chapter this time. Please enjoy the chapter! :)**

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"Maqui, you have to be the biggest idiot I've ever seen in my entire life." Lebreau sighed as she hiked upstairs, still-unbound hair trailing below her shoulders.

Maqui limped after her, wincing as he tenderly nursed the sizable lump situated on his head, courtesy of Lebreau and her temper.

"Why's that?" the boy said miserably.

Lebreau stopped and swung around, her hands on her hips.

"Maqui, when you mess with a woman's hair accessories, you should expect to get into a hell of a lot of pain. And when said woman goes after you to give you a hell of a lot of pain, which you well deserve, you take it like a man."

Maqui slumped down on the step, whining, "Awwww, _Lebreau_."

Lebreau laughed, flashing Maqui a grin that almost stopped his heart. "You're such a kid still, Maqui."

She sat down beside him on the stairs and tousled his spiky blond hair. Maqui, momentarily lulled by the unexpected affection of the gesture, jolted in pain as her fingers touched the bump that had formed on the side of his head.

"Ow, that hurts!"

Concern appeared in Lebreau's eyes, and she leaned towards him, gently parting locks of his hair and making a sound in the back of her throat when she discovered the bump.

"Hey, Maqui—I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to be so harsh...I'm so sorry. You okay?"

Maqui nodded, clenching his teeth together to forestall the tears as Lebreau reached for the battered pouch slung across her skirt, brought out a small jar of healing salve, and gently applied it to the side of his head.

"There..." she murmured, delicately smoothing the salve over the swelling skin. "Nothing NORA's best healer can't do, eh?"

"Why didn't you just use a potion?" Maqui muttered, flinching in pain as Lebreau's fingers ran over the bump.

"Aw, come on, Maqui," Lebreau teased, nudging him lightly. "You want a potion for a little bump? How are you ever going to be a real hero if you can't take hits from a girl?"

"You hit harder than most girls!" Maqui protested, wriggling as far away from her as he could on the step. "Yuj and I grew up with you smacking us both around!"

Lebreau snorted and leaned back against the step above her, tucking one arm behind her head. "Hey, I grew up with much worse. Did I ever tell you about growing up with _Gadot _and _Snow _for playmates ever since I was a kid?"

Maqui sat up and stared at her. "You knew Gadot and Snow ever since you were a kid?"

"Sure." Lebreau shrugged, the iridescent butterfly tattoo on her shoulder rippling as she did so. "We grew up together...what a pain." She groaned and rolled her eyes skyward. "You think they're bad now—you should've seen the pair of them when we were kiddies, seven years old, tussling and whining over some toy gunblade. Etro, they were annoying."

"I don't think they're bad!" Maqui said loyally in his haste to defend his leader and the second-in-command.

"Pssh. That's because you're besotted with Snow, our 'great heroic leader.'" Lebreau's fingers traced sarcastic quotation marks in the air. "Don't think I haven't noticed how you try to take after the way he dresses, kiddo. I wouldn't suggest it. Snow has no fashion sense whatsoever, according to Yuj."

Indignation, mingled with mortification, flared up red-hot in Maqui, and he bolted upright.

"I'm _not _a kid!" he complained. "And—and Snow's cool! There's nothing wrong with the way he dresses! And I _don't _copy him! Only—only stupid little kids copy grown-ups! That's—!"

He stopped. Lebreau was chuckling again.

"I'm just _teasing_ you, Maqui!" The dark-haired woman laughed. "Etro, you're so defensive! Gotta toughen up, Maqui!" She punctuated her last words with a good-natured flick to his headphones, causing them to slip sideways off his head, before breaking out into laughter again.

Maqui felt himself loosen and relax, and before he was aware of it, the seventeen-year-old was chuckling along with Lebreau, headphones sliding down his ears.

He didn't quite understand it yet, but he liked it when Lebreau laughed, even when she was teasing him.

**xxXxx**

Serah truly was alarmed.

A half hour had passed since she'd first noticed Snow's absence, and her fiancé had still not returned.

_Snow...where are you?_

She stood in front of her bedroom door, shivering in her camisole and fluffy pajama bottoms, rubbing her upper arms and wondering if she should search for Snow. It wasn't like her "hero" to leave her alone for more than ten minutes at a stretch. Sometimes he was just as bad as Lightning, though Serah always forgave his protective nature.

Cautiously, she opened the door and stepped hesitantly into the hallway. An unnatural silence permeated the entire house, and Serah felt a dark, fearful foreboding slither into her mind.

_Snow…?_

Uncertainly, she took a few more steps into the passage, shutting the door on the safety of her bedroom.

And without warning, a blue blur hurtled past her down the hallway, laughing maniacally in a particularly Fang-esque manner. Serah could only blink in utter shock as the figure tore headlong down the corridor before disappearing into the rest of the third floor.

In the ensuing silence, Serah's mouth stayed open for a full ten seconds as she tried to adjust her grip on reality.

…_What in Etro's name…?_

She wasn't given sufficient time to ponder the question, however, or even to finish it, before more footsteps appeared on the landing.

Gadot lumbered onto the third floor, his hair still in complete disarray and a vein twitching ominously in his forehead. The hall darkened instantaneously as he stomped through it like an avenging war demon, his fiery ringlets standing about his head in a blaze of wrath.

Serah uttered a terrified squeak and scrambled back against the wall.

"Gadot!" she cried. "What happened to your hair?"

Gadot halted, noticing Serah at her door for the first time. Letting out a roar of frustration, he reached up to his hair and pulled at the curls in aggravation. "AAARGH! Not you, too!"

Serah was shaking; whether out of fear or shock, she couldn't tell. "A—are you okay?" she asked tremulously.

"DO I LOOK OKAY?" Gadot screamed, spinning about to face her and throwing out his hands.

"I—I—I'm so sorry I asked!" Serah squeaked, clinging to the doorknob. "C—can I do anything?"

"Just get out of my way!" Gadot roared. "When I find out just _who _did this to my hair, I'll—!"

He spluttered incoherently for several moments, unable to finish his sentence, gesticulating wildly at the terror-stricken Serah, before finally whirling around and storming down the hall until he vanished from view.

Slowly, Serah released the doorknob. She leaned against the door, her heart still pounding.

_Oh, Etro...what is the world coming to? This is __**insane**_! _What's going on? Where was Fang running and why was she __**laughing **__like that? Gadot __**never **__treats anyone like that...and what happened to his hair? _

Serah hesitantly descended the stairs to the first floor, not at all eager to discover what had happened to the rest of the household while she'd lain, blissfully asleep, in her bedroom. With every step she took, the urge to run back to her room and hide under the covers until Snow returned grew stronger.

Cautiously, she entered the kitchen. Lebreau glanced up from the stovetop.

"Oh, hey, Serah. Give me a hand with the hotcakes, will you? I'm going to see if we have any eggs left."

Serah stopped dead in the doorway. All she could say was, "Lebreau. Your hair."

"What?" Lebreau put a hand to her head in mild surprise as she handed the spatula to Serah. "Oh. My hair's down today. Yeah, I know."

"W—_why_?" Serah managed to blurt out, flinging out her hands. Lebreau ducked as the spatula in Serah's hand scattered flying spots of hotcake batter.

"Hey, watch it, girl! You're holding the spatula!"

"Your _hair_!" Serah cried again. "Where are your barrettes? You _never _wear it down!"

Lebreau shrugged carelessly as she sailed past the stunned Serah, eggs effortlessly balanced between her fingers.

"Can't a girl wear her hair down when she feels like it?" she said over her shoulder as she neatly cracked and whisked the eggs in a bowl. She paused for a moment in thought, then continued, "Actually, you've got Maqui to thank for this stunning new change in my appearance—the kid tells me I look pretty with my hair down."

She jerked a thumb towards the blond seventeen-year-old, who was sitting at the kitchen table, devouring hotcakes.

Serah raised an eyebrow as she flipped the golden hotcakes in the pan with the spatula. "Since when did you start caring about what Maqui thinks of you?"

"Oh, shut up."

Serah giggled. "Sorry, Lebreau, it's just...I've just never seen you without your barrettes before!"

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm not the only one sporting a new hairstyle today." Lebreau grinned as she carried the bowl over to the stovetop and lifted down a frying pan. "Seen Gadot lately?"

Serah almost choked as she recalled the terrifying visage of the man in the hallway, ranting in a near-deranged manner. "Do you know what happened to him?"

"Hey, don't look at me. I don't have a clue." The faint smile played around Lebreau's lips once more. "Although, the fact that it's April Fool's Day might have to do with it."

The spatula clattered to the floor.

"It's WHAT?"

**xxXxx**

"Auntie Vanille, what do we need Daddy's chocobo slippers for?" Dajh inquired as he pattered busily after Vanille, who had paused at the corner of the hall ahead of him and was looking about furtively. "And why do we need yellow paint and brushes and nails and a hammer?"

Vanille, having confirmed the coast was clear, straightened and twirled cheerfully down the hall.

"You'll see, Dajh!" she giggled, skipping a little as she victoriously punched a fist in the air. "This prank is going to be so _epic_!"

The two of them, accompanied by the chocobo chick, hurried towards the balcony on the third floor. Silently, Vanille pulled aside the screen door, and motioned Dajh onto the balcony, putting a finger to her lips to signal to him to be quiet. Dajh nodded happily and skipped through the screen door. Vanille carefully pulled the screen closed, then twirled about to face her assistant.

"What do we do now, Auntie Vanille?" asked Dajh.

Vanille smiled.

"Now we get to make a big mess."

Fifteen minutes later, both Vanille and Dajh were completely splattered with yellow paint. An upturned paint can stood on the balcony rail, dripping yellow paint onto the formerly white wood. Smeared over the pristine eggshell-white balcony floor that Sazh had so lovingly painted only a week prior was an enormous, bright yellow painting of a chocobo. Dajh's little handprints and footprints marked a clear yellow trail all around the chocobo picture, as well as a wide arc of paint on the side where the six-year-old had accidentally tripped over the can.

The Oerban girl leaned back against the balustrade with a satisfied sigh, gazing proudly at their colorful handiwork. Fang would be proud of this display of artifice.

And what better to mark the site of their prank than with an enormous yellow chocobo painting? Not only did it make the balcony look prettier (Vanille had always thought the white paint was so _boring_), it would immediately let the prank's recipient know just _who _had pranked him. It was a trademark of sorts, basically.

Dajh turned happily to look up at Vanille. His overalls were daubed with paint, and there were bright yellow finger streaks on his cheeks. Despite the artistic mess the prank had made of the toddler, Dajh was smiling cheerfully.

Vanille leaned down, clapping her hands together. "Isn't this a great prank, Dajh?" she whispered excitedly. "This is the best one anyone's come up with all morning!"

"Yeah!" Dajh said enthusiastically, but suddenly a thought struck him. "But...but what if Daddy gets mad at us, Auntie Vanille?"

Tears appeared in Dajh's eyes and his lower lip began to tremble.

Vanille quickly knelt down and put her hands on the toddler's shoulders before he could cry. "Now, Dajh!" she admonished gently. "I told you it was April Fool's Day today. You know what that means?" Dajh nodded slowly. "It means we can prank anyone, and we're not going to get into trouble. That's what today's for! It's a special day for pranks. So don't you worry!"

She smiled and touched the six-year-old's nose, leaving a streak of yellow paint there. "Besides, you're too adorable. Even if Sazh got mad, he couldn't _stay _mad at you for very long. Everyone just loves you too much—you get away with everything!"

Dajh giggled happily, all sunshine and rainbows again.

"That's right!" Vanille smiled and shook her finger. "No more moping! Now," she said, putting her hands on her hips, "where's Chocobo?"

Their prank's inspiration came fluttering out from behind the paint can, twittering, his feathers completely drenched in viscous yellow paint.

"Oh, look at you!" Vanille scolded, as Dajh collapsed in a fit of giggles upon seeing his pet's appearance. The chocobo fluttered clumsily towards Vanille and landed on her palm, lifting a paint-coated wing and chirping in bewilderment.

"There, you see? No wonder you can't fly right when you're all sticky with paint! We need to get ourselves all cleaned up before we can go back inside. We're all just a mess right now!" Vanille carefully placed the chocobo in Dajh's afro. "Go into the garden, both of you. I'll turn on the hose and we can clean ourselves up."

"But Auntie Vanille, we didn't use Daddy's chocobo slippers yet!" Dajh pointed to the cute fluffy yellow slippers sitting on the balustrade beside the nails and the hammer.

Vanille clapped her hands together and did a little bounce. "Oh, Dajh, you're right! I completely forgot! That's the second part of our prank!"

And right before the six-year-old's baffled gaze, Vanille swept up the hammer and nailed the chocobo slippers directly to the balcony floor.

"There, that's done!" the teenager said cheerfully, spinning about to face a very puzzled Dajh and Chocobo. "Now, into the garden!"

**xxXxx**

On the third floor, a very interesting scene was taking place.

"Shut up!" Lightning hissed at her accomplice. "You're making too much noise!"

"It's not my fault the hinges are squeaky!" Snow protested, wringing his hands.

"And you're _still _making noise! Shut up, you oaf! Do you want Fang to hear you and ruin our whole prank?"

Snow instantly opened his mouth to protest, thought better of it, and closed it again.

Lightning suppressed the now-familiar urge to strangle her co-conspirator and attempted to return to the task at hand. However, she couldn't help wondering what in Etro's name had possessed her to take Snow with her. She should have known he'd only be a liability, a disadvantage to her meticulously devised plans.

There was nothing to do about it now, however. However much Lightning disliked Snow, she was stuck with him.

"Hey, Light?" Snow's head appeared around the edge of the door frame across the hallway. "Are you sure she'll come into these rooms?"

"Oh, so what now, you're actually _questioning _my plans?" Lightning glared at Snow. "Let's see you come up with a better one, idiot! Try finding fault with my logic. The two doors that I have chosen belong to her and Vanille's bedroom, and my bedroom. Sooner or later, she'll be sure to come and check her own room, to make sure that I haven't planted a prank in there, and she'll probably come to my room to put a prank of her own in there. She's not going to expect an attack from above, though."

Snow thought this over for a few moments, frowning, then shrugged and withdrew his head. "Whatever you say, Sis. I guess it sounds all right."

"Of course it does," Lightning snapped. "It's a classic trick. I picked it up back when I was in training."

She should have expected this, though. The fool neither understood nor appreciated her ingenious idea of an April Fool's Day prank.

Typical.

Shaking her head to rid herself of any distracting thoughts, Lightning tore off a last strip of tape with her teeth and used it to attach the final edge of newspaper to the jamb of her bedroom door, smoothing it over the top of the door.

Then, slowly, she reached down to the basket that sat at her feet...and picked up a bright red water balloon.

_Thank Etro that all the doors in this house open both ways_, Lightning thought as she methodically and carefully filled the gap between the newspaper and the door with water balloons. Fortunately, the situation was perfect for executing the plan that she had in mind.

As Lightning had previously explained to the dense-minded Snow, Fang would be sure to check up on her bedroom sometime, or to prank Lightning's bedroom, located directly across the hall from hers. Obviously, to gain access to whichever room she picked, Fang would inevitably have to open the door.

And when that happened...

—Lightning's worst enemy would be instantly and painfully splattered with twenty brightly colored water balloons.

Lightning could hardly wait.

**xxXxx**

Sanctum soldiers—especially the Guardian Corps division—may have been known for their silence and unexpected strikes in battle, but they had _nothing_ on a light-footed Pulsian woman.

Fang leaned over the side of the banister to peer upwards at the third landing, snickering to herself as she watched Lightning and Snow prepare their prank—one that, she suspected, was for her.

Fang touched a finger thoughtfully to her chin, a smile of amusement still curving her lips.

_Nice try, Light. _

It was a good prank, she'd give Lightning that. One that would have been wickedly hilarious, had Fang been unaware of it.

As it was, Fang had analyzed exactly what they had planned to do ever since she'd caught sight of Snow lumbering upstairs with a basket of water balloons, with Lightning hissing frantic orders behind him and occasionally whacking his head with a roll of newspaper. Hers was obviously a mind built for mischief.

_Good idea, Sunshine. At least—it __**would **__have been a good idea. _

The prank, Fang realized, revolved entirely around subtlety and the delicate art of light-footedness. Lightning was a well-trained warrior; she would have been able to pull it off with exceptional skill.

Her co-conspirator, on the other hand...

_Really, Light? __**Snow**__? Of all people, you expected __**Snow Villiers **__to be able to pull off this prank? _

Fang had to be brutally honest—the word "subtle" didn't exactly cross her mind when she thought of the massive man.

Subtlety just was not Snow's style. He just didn't do stalking and all that discreet, well-thought-out sneaking about. His style was, as he proudly put it, to "charge in, guns blazing."

_Easiest way to get yourself killed, more like._

Fang leaned back against the banister, balancing herself by her hands, a smirk etched on her face.

_Just your choice of accomplices, Lightning. If you wanted to do this prank well, you should've chosen a partner who would've kept his mouth shut. But I heard you two, loud and clear, coming all the way up the stairs. It was a nice try, I'll give you that. But your mistake is going to cost you, Sunshine. It's going to cost you._

With one hand, Fang reached down into the folds of her blue silk skirt and lightly touched the loop of string concealed in a pocket.

_...And it's going to be effortlessly easy to defeat you. _

Fang could hardly wait.

**xxXxx**

Serah glanced up from the stove with a smile as Dajh and Vanille, accompanied by the chocobo, trooped into the kitchen.

"Hey!" she said warmly, putting the spatula down and bending to pat Dajh's head. "You're all up!"

Vanille shared a quick, barely perceptibly guilty glance with Dajh before beaming back innocently at her friend. "Yep!"

"Auntie Serah, Auntie Serah!" Dajh chortled, toddling forward and hugging Serah affectionately around the legs. Serah giggled and stroked his little head.

Next to Serah, Lebreau frowned and sniffed the air. "...Why do I smell paint?"

Vanille's green eyes widened slightly, and she put her hands behind her back. She and Dajh were masters of the wide-eyed innocence, but if she wanted her prank to stay hidden until Sazh discovered it, she would have to work hard.

Fortunately, Lebreau dismissed the subject with a shake of her head and continued to load golden hotcakes onto a plate. It was then that Vanille noticed Lebreau's new hairstyle.

"Ooh!" Vanille bounced over to Lebreau and tilted her head. "Your hair's pretty today! I've never seen it down before! You should wear it like this more often!"

Lebreau shot Serah a glance of triumph. "Guess the kid was right."

Serah smiled and lifted a shoulder. "I'm still maintaining that you only wore it down because Maqui said you looked pretty."

"_Ooh_!" Vanille shoved herself in between Serah and Lebreau, glancing excitedly from one to the other. She had always been one for gossip. "Maqui's involved in this? And he told Lebreau she looked _pretty_?"

The Oerban girl collapsed into a fit of giggles, chanting, "Maqui likes Lebreau! Maqui likes Lebreau!"

"Oh, shut up!" Lebreau scowled and put her hands on her hips, the very image of a tough mother. "And don't you dare go around singing that, either."

"Why?" Vanille leaned forward teasingly, her grin all things mischievous. "Are you afraid _Maqui's_ going to hear?"

"Vanille, if you don't shut up, I swear I'm going to hit you with this frying pan."

Vanille squeaked and scrambled around to hide behind Serah, who laughed out loud and patted the top of the girl's hair.

"Calm down, you two," Serah soothed, though she could barely hide her own smile. "Vanille was just joking. Now stop being a nuisance, Vanille, and take these hotcakes to the table."

"Okay!" Vanille chirped, sweeping up the plate. She skipped towards the kitchen table, miraculously managing not to stumble, and set the plate down in front of Maqui with a little twirl. "Hey, Maqui!"

Maqui looked up, swallowed his mouthful of syrupy hotcake with difficulty, and nodded back. "Hey, Vanille."

"So...!" Vanille put her hands behind her back and leaned confidentially towards the spiky-haired blond. "I heard you told Lebreau she looked pretty with her hair down today?"

"Hey! So?" Maqui glared up defensively and crossed his arms. "So what if I did, huh?"

Vanille giggled and clapped her hands together. "Don't be all defensive! Listen, Lebreau won't admit it, but she likes that you told her that. She likes it a lot."

Maqui slowly relaxed. "Hey...really?"

Vanille nodded. "Uh-huh! Maybe you should tell her that she looks pretty more often!"

Maqui stared up at her. "You really think so?"

"Yep!" Vanille laughed. "After all, it's _so _obvious that you've got a crush on her!"

"_Hey_!" Maqui whined, slapping a hand down on the table.

"_Vanille_!" Lebreau yelled from the kitchen. "What the hell is taking you so long?"

Serah's soft laughter drifted out from the kitchen. "Why do you _think_ she's taking so long, Lebreau?"

"Vanille! If you're telling him anything that isn't true, I'm restricting your sugar intake supply for the rest of the month!"

"_Whaaaat_?" Vanille raced back into the kitchen and stared at Lebreau disbelievingly. "You wouldn't! You wouldn't!"

"Oh, yeah. I would."

"_Libby_!" Vanille wailed, throwing herself down at Lebreau's feet and clinging to her ankles. "Don't do this! Don't be so cruel!"

Lebreau winced at the abbreviation and attempted to move her feet, but the redhead only tightened her grasp, sobbing loudly, preventing her from taking even half an inch's step forward.

"Vanille. Let go."

"Not until you promise not to restrict my sugar supply!" Vanille yelled at the top of her lungs, drumming her heels against the floor and raising a cloud of dust.

Lebreau sighed and rolled her eyes skyward. "Fine. I won't take away your sugar. Happy now?"

Vanille leaped up, all smiles and sunshine again, and hurled herself at Lebreau to embrace her. "Yay!" she squealed. "I love you, Libby!"

"Good. Now get off," Lebreau grunted, disengaging Vanille's arms and moving well away from reach, though the NORA fighter couldn't help smiling. It was impossible to stay mad at Vanille for long.

**xxXxx**

"Snow! Are you done yet?" Lightning hissed furiously across the hall.

"Not yet! I'm almost done! Wait a minute!" Snow cried, frantically trying to shove water balloons between the newspaper and the doorjamb without crushing them between his massive fingers.

Lightning uttered a groan and slapped her already aching forehead. Snow had proved to be a complete burden to her mission. The man was only about as much help as a six-year-old.

_Dajh could probably do a better job than him in this situation! _Lightning thought, seething.

All of a sudden, her soldier-trained ears detected the sounds of barely perceptible footsteps, walking down the hall—in their direction.

Her eyes flew wide open.

_Fang. _

"Crap! She's coming!" Lightning hissed at Snow. "Hurry up and get behind that door!"

"Noooo! I'm not done yet!" Snow wailed.

Lightning resisted the urge to fling the door wide open, storm across the hall, and smack her ally senseless with great difficulty.

"I don't care if you're done yet!" she snarled. "Get _behind _the freaking door before my plan is completely _ruined_!"

Snow peeped out from behind the door, took one glance at Lighting's blazing eyes, and immediately ducked back beneath cover.

_Etro, that oaf, sometimes..._

Lightning placed her ear carefully against the door and waited unblinkingly, listening to the footsteps that matched the rhythm of her pounding heartbeat as they approached the door, suspended in a state of anticipation as she awaited the fall of her enemy.

_Here she comes._

**xxXxx**_  
_

Fang listened as the shuffling sounds emanating from the door that Snow was hiding behind suddenly subsided, to be replaced by an eerie, breathless silence. They had obviously detected her, and were lying for her in wait.

_Ha…got to be more subtle than that, Sunshine. _

Fang shook her head. Truly, this was painfully simple.

It was almost too simple for her pride—there was no delicious artifice involved, no clever challenge to overcome. It was a matter of obvious logic.

Fang fingered the loop of twine in her pocket. _Oh well._

It was time to show Lightning what it truly meant to perform an April Fool's Day prank.

A slow smile spread across her lips as she moved down the hallway, pacing her steps to just barely reach Lightning's ears—audible enough for her to hear them, quiet enough to fool her into thinking that Fang was attempting to keep silent.

Just as she reached the two doors, she stopped suddenly, and stood there, as if indecisive.

Fang felt every barest trace of movement inside the two rooms cease abruptly, and go unnaturally still. They were obviously waiting for her to open one of the doors, and fall straight into their pathetic trap.

Fang smirked.

_It's not going to be so easy, Farron._

With the barest of movements, Fang slowly eased out the loop of twine that she had kept hidden in her pocket up until now. It was a curious object to use to defeat a prank, but the simple string of twine would certainly prove its worth now.

With all the precision, silence, and efficiency of an assassin, Fang soundlessly reached forward and skillfully tied one end of the twine around the doorknob of the door Lightning was hiding behind. Then she secured the other end of the twine to Snow's doorknob.

It was all done so swiftly and soundlessly, Fang was certain that the occupants had not heard a single thing.

The Pulsian woman grinned, unable to contain her glee at having outwitted Lightning so easily. Her retaliation was now set and needed only to be sprung.

_Time to wreak havoc._

And Fang threw her head back—and laughed.

* * *

**A/N: Ooh, I see Miss Fang has decided to further infuriate Lightning... :D**

**All right, on to the author's note. Thank you to everyone who asked after my play and my deteriorating sleep patterns during this past month. I apologize for not updating sooner, and I hope that this chapter makes up for it. If not, I'm working on the next. :)**

**My play went very well. Personally, I was stunned at how well my cast performed, and I'd like to give a shout-out to my co-director, RacRules. :D The whole thing was an amazing experience. My cast instantly missed one another the day after the last show, and we've all remained very close afterwards. **

**Final exams are around the corner, and I may not be able to update soon. Academics are, after all, one of my highest priorities. Please bear with me...I'm kind of going through a rough time as the year ends and I'm forced to say goodbye to all my friends as we all graduate to high school.**

**Please, PLEASE review. I _cannot _stress this enough. Reviews are MAJOR motivation, especially since I feel like I've gotten writer's block recently and I have about three requests and two collab fics I'm working on. **

**So, please review! Make Nighty happy! :D**


	5. Edict of Enmity

**A/N: Hi, everybody...it's Nighty, again...**

**Sorry for leaving the fifth chapter off for so long...*headdesk* Yes, it's summer now (yay, more sleep!) but I'm still doing a lot of studying and my computer time has been restricted. D: So, as you can see, it was pretty hard to finish this chapter. **

**I haven't been on Fanfiction in a while, but I haven't forgotten this fic, and I think I owe you all a long chapter for the months that I've made you wait—if there's still anyone out there reading this. .**

**For those of you who reviewed the previous chapters: Thank you SO much. I can't ever thank you enough for your reviews and/or faves. I love you! ^^**

**Well, here we go—the fifth chapter. Hope you like it. :)**

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* * *

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Lightning's eyes flew wide open and she jolted upwards in shock as she heard Fang's mocking laughter echo on the other side of the door.

_What—? She's taunting me! Does she know?_

Fang's accented voice, scornfully pitched to imitate the sing-song of a lullaby, called out to her from beyond the door, "I know you're there, Sunshine…!"

Lightning sprang upright, her face contorting into a snarl of unutterable hatred.

Everything had been entirely ruined.

She wanted to _kill _Fang.

A growl of unfettered venom built up in her throat, and she released it in a vicious war cry as she seized the doorknob and savagely yanked open the door—

…and found that she couldn't.

Across the hallway, a high-pitched feminine scream sounded as Snow realized that he, too, was unable to open his door.

"What did you do to the door?" Lightning bellowed, yanking on the doorknob as hard as she could in vain. Her doorframe shuddered violently as Snow tugged fruitlessly on his doorknob as well, preventing her from opening her own door. Seized by a sudden fury, Lightning struck her door in rage and violently wrenched the doorknob.

And thus they were engaged in a frantic tug-of-war, each yanking on their doorknob in a frenetic effort to open their own door, which prevented the other from opening theirs.

Fang, witnessing it all, laughed harder as the doors slid back and forth, doorframes trembling dangerously beneath the onslaught, connected by the length of twine.

Lightning felt fury, dark and vengeful, gathering in the center of her chest. With a final, inhuman snarl of frustration, she gave the doorknob one more vicious jerk in a desperate bid to open her door.

The twine snapped, and Lightning was sent tumbling backwards from the momentum, still gripping the doorknob, as the door flew wide open—

...only to be bombarded by an explosion of splattering water balloons.

Fang exploded into full-out laughter, doubling over and holding her stomach, not even attempting to contain her hilarity.

Slowly, Lightning rose from the floor where she had been knocked down by the assault: livid, dripping, and plastered with soaking wet water balloons. Water streamed from her drenched clothes, soaking the carpet underfoot. Her hair fell in sodden locks over her eyes, and with one tense hand, she clawed the obstruction aside.

Murder in her eyes, she advanced upon Fang.

"_You_," she spat.

Sensing the danger, the Pulsian woman hastily retreated a safe distance, still grinning widely. "What's the matter, Sunshine? Can't take a bit of water?"

"_You_," Lightning repeated in a rage-choked voice. It was the only word she could get out.

"Come on, Farron." Fang gestured dismissively to the wreckage. "You have to admit, your prank was a bit of a failure...to use a euphemism."

A vein pulsed at Lightning's temple.

"_Fang_," she snarled. "_I. Am. Going. To. __**Kill**__. You_."

"Didn't you say that last time, too?" Fang's infamous smirk appeared on her lips as she backed away down the hall, shoulders lifted in an unapologetic shrug. "Just face it, Sunshine: You're never going to be able to come up with a prank better than mine."

The mocking words tugged at Lightning's patience, driving it almost to the breaking point, goading her temper. It took every ounce of self-control left in the soldier to just barely restrain herself from killing Fang.

"_Get. Out_," she managed between clenched teeth.

Fang smirked and headed for the staircase. However, she couldn't resist tossing one more barbed jibe over her shoulder.

"Oh, by the way, Sunshine…_Snow_? Really? Of all the people you could have teamed up with, you picked _Snow_?"

And she fled before Lightning could do more than glare after her in impotent fury, her derisive laughter lingering for a long time in the stairwell after she'd left.

Slowly, Lightning relaxed.

Her breathing was fast and shallow, passing over her lips in short spurts. Her chest felt tight, strained from the effort of controlling her temper. Only Fang was able to madden her like this; no one else could get a rise out of the typically stoic soldier. No one else had come so close to driving her to the point of insanity.

_Tch. That's quite a feat._

She went to her bedroom, kicking the door shut behind her. Staggering to her bed, she sat down and closed her eyes, combing her fingers through her water-drenched hair.

Outside, she heard Snow call, "Sis?"

_Snow. The entire reason my plans failed._

She didn't answer. She heard a door creak open outside, immediately followed by a high-pitched scream that seemed to shake the house to its foundations as Snow was assailed by the barrage of water balloons.

Lightning uttered a groan of frustration and let herself collapse across the bed.

This was unbelievable. For a soldier of her caliber, her standards were slipping. Defeated, _twice _in a row. It made her cringe with humiliation just to think about it.

_Very well, Fang_.

Did the Pulsian-born huntress want a fight? She'd get a fight!

And Lightning was determined to emerge the victor.

_You may have won this battle…but you haven't won the war. _

It was high time to show Oerba Yun Fang what she was _truly _up against.

**xxXxx**

"Oh, Snow! What happened to you?" cried Serah.

Snow limped into the kitchen, wincing and sodden, water sloshing around his boots with every step. He stopped in front of Serah and stood there, looking miserably at her. A pool of water quickly accumulated underneath his feet.

Lebreau left the stove and swept towards the NORA leader, shaking her head. "What did you do this time, Snow—slip in the shower?" With two fingers, she plucked the hat from his head and held it high in the air, watching the water trickle out of it and onto the floor with obvious disapproval.

"Are you all right? You're not hurt, are you?" Serah asked anxiously, stroking Snow's damp bangs out of his eyes. Snow didn't answer.

"Probably doing something stupid again," Lebreau muttered, adding "Towel," to Vanille, who'd come to gawk at Snow with Maqui close behind.

Vanille hurried off to fetch a towel.

Maqui stared wide-eyed at Snow and blinked several times, as if unaccustomed to seeing his leader looking so depressed.

"Uh, Snow…" he said awkwardly. "What happened?"

Shivering, Snow shook his head, scattering droplets of water.

"Nothing."

"Oh, don't give me that crap," Lebreau snapped, taking the towel from Vanille, who'd come pattering back into the kitchen and was now looking curiously at Snow. She threw the towel at him. "Answer the kid's question: What the hell happened?"

Snow toweled his hair, but he remained silent, avoiding their probing gazes.

"We won't laugh at you," Serah murmured comfortingly, rubbing his arm.

Snow sighed and cleared his throat, looking down at his feet.

"Sis happened," he mumbled.

"What?" Serah's blue eyes widened. "Claire? What did she do to you?"

"No, no, she didn't beat me up or anything…" Snow struggled to explain. "Let me go back to the beginning. It all started with Fang…she pranked Lightning..."

Vanille held back a giggle.

"Sis got pretty ticked off, and she wanted to get revenge on Fang. She went crazy—she almost sliced me to pieces in the hallway because she mistook me for Fang."

Vanille's green eyes widened, and she put her hands to her mouth.

"So I offered to help her get revenge…because Fang pranked me this morning, too. We were going to attack her with a flood of water balloons…but Fang did something to the doors and it ended up backfiring on us, which explains why I'm soaking wet right now. Fang and Lightning were yelling at each other in the hallway, and then Fang left...I saw Lightning a little while ago when I was going to the stairs, and she—she yelled at me for ruining her plans and then she stormed off."

A stunned silence followed Snow's words. The expressions on his audience's faces ranged from fearfully anxious (Serah) to wholly unsympathetic (Lebreau).

Vanille broke the silence, timidly. "Is Lightning okay?"

"Is Sis ever okay?" Snow groaned, rubbing his face. "Knowing her, we're gonna have bloodshed on our hands in about five minutes. At least she didn't slug me this time."

"I need to talk to Claire," Serah murmured. She glanced away, troubled.

Maqui looked blankly from Snow to Lebreau, as if begging one of them to clarify things.

Lebreau rolled her eyes and leaned back against the counter, folding her arms. "You know, Snow, you really should have stayed out of this."

"What?" Snow looked indignant. "But I didn't do anything!"

By way of answer, Lebreau leaned forward and whacked Snow—lightly—across the head.

"You idiot!" she chided. "Don't you know anything about girls? Rule number one: You _never _get in the way of a girl fight. And if you do, you _never _take sides. Especially with Fang and Lightning. Girls are vicious, vicious creatures when they're angry. If they want to turn April Fool's Day into a battlefield, they're going to turn it into a battlefield."

"Oh," Snow mumbled stupidly, rubbing the side of his head.

Lebreau shook her head in mock despair. "You idiot," she repeated, though more fondly. "Whatever. Just go and sit down; it's almost time for breakfast." She shoved the NORA leader out of the kitchen, adding over her shoulder, "Serah, the coffee."

"Coffee!" squealed Vanille, diving forward. Lebreau and Serah had to use their combined strength to stop her from attacking the coffee maker.

"No coffee for you, kiddo!" Lebreau hauled her away from the coffee maker and pushed her out of the kitchen. "Dining room. Go."

Vanille pouted, but skipped towards the dining room, only to crash into Dajh in the middle of the hallway.

"Dajh!" she exclaimed, sweeping up the toddler and swinging him around several times before setting him back down on his feet. "I'm sorry, everyone completely forgot about you! Where were you?"

Dajh just giggled adorably and clapped his hands together, beaming up at her.

Vanille leaned down and smiled at him, tilting her head and putting one finger to her mouth. "Hm...were you with Sazh?" she asked.

Dajh gave a little bounce. "Nope!"

Vanille giggled. "So where _were _you? Don't keep it from me! You're only going to make me worry, you silly little boy." She took one of his little hands in hers, but dropped it again in surprise. "Oh! Your hands are all sticky!"

Dajh grinned and held his hands up. "Syrup!" he proclaimed.

Right on cue, Maqui's indignant voice drifted out of the kitchen.

"Hey, who ate all my hotcakes?"

**xxXxx**

Sazh was not a morning person.

Despite his usually easygoing demeanor, he could be "one crabby old man" (as Vanille liked to call him) in the mornings. Sazh was a person who enjoyed his breaks. He didn't get a lot of them, quite frankly. Thus it took every ounce of willpower he had (accompanied by quite a lot of complaining) just to roll out of bed in the morning. And even then he wasn't fully awake until he'd gotten his cup of coffee.

He didn't understand how everyone else could do it. Why weren't the kids groggy after they woke up? In fact, Vanille was positively bubbly in the mornings. She skipped around cheerfully as if the thought of resting had never even crossed her mind.

Dajh, too. The little boy bounced right out of bed in the mornings and he was off, chattering incessantly like a bumblebee—leaving his father to grumble and grouchily get up after him.

_Nrgh. They're kids. _

Still half-asleep, Sazh shuffled slowly downstairs at a snail's pace. Once he reached the first floor, he lumbered straight towards the kitchen.

"Daddy!" yelled Dajh, shooting out of the kitchen and cannoning straight into Sazh. He happily threw his arms around his father's waist. "Hi, Daddy!"

"Morning, Dajh." Sazh smiled tiredly and patted his son's afro. Dajh beamed up at him before racing off, giggling.

"Good morning, Sazh!" The younger Farron, helping Lebreau at the stove, smiled as Sazh hobbled into the kitchen.

_Nrgh. How can they be so __**cheerful **__in the mornings…?_

"Make way, make way. Old man comin' through," the self-proclaimed "old man" grunted, maneuvering through the busy kitchen and heading straight for the coffee maker. Serah intercepted him and filled his favorite mug with coffee, adding precisely the right amounts of cream and sugar to create a perfect mixture.

"Here, I got it!" Serah handed Sazh his coffee with a smile. "Here you go."

"Thanks, Serah." Sazh took a generous slurp of his coffee. _Aaah. Caffeine._

Feeling slightly more awake now that he'd gotten some coffee into his system, the "old man" looked about. "Hey, where'd Dajh go?"

Maqui stamped up to him, looking accusingly at him. "Do you know what that kid did this morning?" he complained. "He ate all my hotcakes! And dumped the syrup all over the floor! And Lebreau made me clean it up and—"

"Oh, cut the crap, Maqui." Lebreau came up behind him and lightly whacked the side of his head—though Sazh noticed her expression was affectionate. "How old are you, three? Dajh is a little kid. He's only six. You're seventeen. It's not going to kill you to mop up a spill, right?"

The blond teenager crossed his arms. "Well, no, but—"

"So shut up!" Lebreau put a hand under his chin and shut his jaw, effectively silencing the boy, before striding into the dining room with another plate of hotcakes.

Sazh looked from the retreating back of the NORA healer to the dazed face of Maqui, who looked as if he'd just been banged on the head. He chuckled and nodded in Lebreau's direction. "Chasing after that one, I see."

Maqui's face flushed red. "N-no way! I don't know what you're talking about! I'm not—!"

Sazh chuckled and exited the kitchen, leaving the red-faced, spluttering teenager behind him.

In the dining room, he found Snow, sitting in his chair and leaning on the table with a somewhat disgruntled expression. Vanille and Dajh were skipping around the table, laughing and playing some sort of game with the chocobo.

"Heya, Pops!" Vanille abandoned the game and skipped over to Sazh. "How are you?"

"Trying to stay awake." Sazh nodded in Snow's direction. "What happened to _him_?"

"Ooh." Vanille winced and leaned conspiratorially towards Sazh. "He got busted."

"By…let me guess, Grumpy?" Sazh lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah."

Sazh snorted. _What a surprise._ "Well, stuff like this wouldn't happen if the kid didn't act like such an oaf."

"Hey!" Snow shouted indignantly, rousing himself from the table at last. "I actually didn't do anything this time! It was Fang's fault! And what is it with everyone calling me an _oaf_?"

"It's because you are." Sazh took another sip of his coffee. "Oh, well. No doubt I'll hear more about this later from Lightning and…Fang?"

He slanted a suspicious look at Vanille, who put her hands behind her back and smiled up at him innocently.

"Oh, don't give me that look, Vanille." Sazh shook a warning finger at the girl. "Seen that look too many times before on Dajh's face. You're involved in this. I'm guessing you're going to get an earful from Miss Grumpy, too, when she comes down."

Vanille only giggled and scampered off, twirling into her seat, closely followed by Dajh.

Sazh sighed and shook his head. Kids. They didn't have a care in the world. Oh, well. He'd always been happiest whenever Dajh or Vanille or the other kids were happy. There really wasn't any other thing in this world he wanted more.

"Well, see you all in a bit. I'm going to take advantage of the fresh air. Hopefully by the time I come in, Lightning and Fang will have reached some sort of ceasefire."

"Don't bet on it," Snow grumbled, throwing himself back down into his seat with a mighty thud.

Sazh took his coffee and went upstairs to the third floor. Ever since he'd repainted the balcony white, this was a morning ritual he never neglected. The others teased him about it, saying that he'd take his pistol to any bird that so much as pooped on the pristine white paint, but Sazh remained undeterred. It had taken him a long time to paint that balcony so beautifully, and he wasn't about to stand by and let some passing bird ruin his work.

Sazh pushed open the set of sliding glass doors that separated the house from the balcony and stepped outside, taking a deep, appreciative breath of air as he did so. The fresh, dewy morning air was wonderfully invigorating to his senses. It helped chase away every last trace of drowsiness lingering in his brain.

Refreshed, Sazh downed the last of his coffee and lowered his mug—only to spit out his coffee out in total shock as he finally took in the sight of his balcony.

And it was _definitely _not a pretty, pristine white.

"AAAAAAAAAARGGGHHH!"

**xxXxx**

Everyone present at the dining table jumped in shock as Sazh came rocketing down the stairs faster than a bullet from one of his pistols, screaming incoherently at the top of his lungs and gesticulating wildly up at the upstairs floors.

Dajh looked definitely worried. "Daddy, are you okay?" he asked timidly.

Vanille looked from Dajh to Sazh, the corners of her mouth twitching as if she were trying not to laugh, but she said nothing.

Maqui, who'd rejoined the group, simply gawked at the normally tranquil man and wondered what the hell was happening.

Snow got up from his chair and cautiously approached Sazh, putting up his hands. "Hold it, old man. Would you please make some sense over here?"

And, as everybody knew, when _Snow _was asking you to make some sense, you were in deep trouble.

Sazh clutched at his afro and took several deep breaths, trying not to hyperventilate and failing miserably. "My—balcony!" he managed to scream between gasps for air. "It's ruined! It's destroyed! It's—it's—there's a _**chocobo **_on _**my balcony**__!"_

Maqui and Snow exchanged looks.

"Uh…Sazh," Snow said, as the man continued to splutter and wave his hands wildly in the air. "It's just a bird. Shoo it off or something."

"No! There's a chocobo **painted **on my balcony!" Sazh clarified, jabbing wildly in the direction of the upstairs floors. "Who could have done such a thing? Who could have—"

Snow sincerely hoped that whoever had committed the crime was a good runner. Or was bulletproof.

"And my chocobo slippers!" Sazh fumed, flailing. "They were _nailed _to the balcony! It's going to take me forever to get them out! It's going to—"

Maqui blinked. _Sazh wears chocobo slippers_?

All this time, Vanille and Dajh had been staring wide-eyed at Sazh, exchanging frightened, guilty glances every so often. Finally, the six-year-old could hold it in no longer. "We're sorry, Daddy!" he blurted out, his voice squeaking in fear.

The sound of his son's terrified voice brought Sazh up sharp.

"What?" he said, falling still at last. He squinted at the quaking Dajh, then shifted his glance to Vanille, struggling to understand. "Are you saying—you mean—you mean _you _were the ones who painted on my balcony?"

Silence fell upon the dining room.

Vanille glanced at Dajh, then back at Sazh. She nodded slowly.

"Sorry, Sazh," she squeaked. "It was just a prank…you know, for April Fool's Day. We didn't know that you would react like that…we're really sorry, Sazh."

All Sazh could say was, "You. Painted. My. Balcony."

"Um…we'll help you repaint it tomorrow, if you like," Vanille offered earnestly. "I mean, the paint we used was washable, and, um...I'm sure we can get your slippers out without damaging them too badly. Please don't be mad, Sazh. I mean, the chocobo was pretty, right? Dajh is a really good artist!"

The tension in the room deflated, as did Sazh.

"Nrgh. Fine," Sazh groused, stalking over to the table and thumping himself resignedly into his seat. _Sazh, you big softie. You could never resist kids._

"Whew. Good job, Vanille," Snow told the redheaded girl. "Finally got the old man to stop shouting."

Vanille giggled behind her hands. "He still looks pretty grumpy, though!"

"Smile, Daddy, smile!" Dajh demanded adorably, clapping his hands together.

"No, Dajh, I am _not _smiling, not after you wrecked that balcony," Sazh grumbled. He shook his head wearily. "Why'd you have to do that? I mean, of all the pranks…"

Vanille leaned her elbows on the table and said, in all seriousness, "But Sazh, it's _April Fool's Day_."

Snow pounded the table and laughed. Maqui grinned and slapped high fives with Vanille.

"Nrgh. I still can't believe that you…Nrgh," Sazh said again, choosing to end his sentence in incoherence.

"Thank Etro it was you two who did that prank," Snow said, grinning. "You're the only two people in the world who could do something like that and get away with it."

"Yeah, yeah, you done teasing the old man?" Sazh asked, but his face softened into a smile. He patted the top of his son's head. "Fine, fine. Let you kids have some fun today."

"Yaaay!" Dajh cheered, bouncing up and down on his chair.

Maqui grinned and looked over the top of Dajh's head. Suddenly, his eyes bulged out in shock and his mouth dropped open. Rendered absolutely petrified with horror, he could only stare wordlessly and point one trembling finger straight ahead.

Everyone present at the table twisted around in their seats to see Gadot, unmistakable under his new halo of orange ringlets, standing at the top of the stairs.

An incredibly awkward silence ensued, in which Gadot stomped down the steps and stormed into the dining room, glaring mightily at everyone.

"LAUGH AT ME AND DIE," he threatened.

Everyone shrugged and turned back around. Gadot thumped himself into his seat, causing a minor earthquake to shudder through the dining room, and began stuffing himself with hotcakes.

Maqui and Snow exchanged glances, but, fearing for their lives, they said nothing.

The awkward silence caused by Gadot's arrival was only prolonged as steps sounded in the hallway and Hope entered the dining room, the blanket still wrapped around his knees.

"What?" Hope demanded, as everyone stared at him.

"…Uh, Hope?" Sazh queried. "What happened to your pants?"

"And why are you wearing THAT?" Maqui blurted out.

Dajh giggled. "I told you Uncle Hope was wearing a dress today!" he chirped to Vanille.

"IT'S **NOT **A DRESS, IT'S A—!"

"It's okay, Hope," Vanille soothed, getting up from her seat and putting her arms around the furious boy. "We know it's not a dress. Just come and sit down."

Hope slid into his seat next to Vanille, glowering at everyone as he did so, daring one of them to say one word about his questionable attire.

"So…!" Vanille said brightly, trying to alleviate the tension that had settled upon the table. "Anyone seen Fang lately? I'm kind of worried about her...I don't know where she is..."

"Haven't seen Fang since the whole prank incident." Snow leaned back in his chair. "If she knows what's good for her, she'll be running. Sis is out for her blood."

"What?" Hope raised his head, momentarily distracted from his misery. "Are Lightning and Fang fighting _again_?"

"Yep." Vanille nodded. "But don't worry! Lightning will be fine. Fang's not a mean person; she just likes to play pranks! And she never takes it too far. She's really softhearted inside."

Everyone exchanged glances.

"Uh, Vanille…?" Snow said. "It wasn't _Fang _we were worried about." Mentally, he added, _Softhearted, my—_

Vanille sat up, a look of indignation appearing on her delicate features. "You don't think Fang can take care of herself?" she accused. "That's not true! Fang's clever and she's a _great_ fighter, and she's taken care of me all these years. If anyone's a survivor, it's Fang!"

"Yeah, but you've never seen Lightning when she's _really _angry before," Snow pointed out. "When Sis gets mad, she gets _really _mad."

"Well, if it's a betting matter..." Sazh rubbed his chin, deep in thought.

"I'd bet on Light," Hope said loyally.

Vanille sat back, hurt visible in her wide green eyes. "You're wrong," she insisted. "Snow! Didn't Fang outsmart you and Light with _your _prank?"

"Well, yes—" Snow began.

"There!" Vanille said triumphantly. "Just you wait! I'll bet Fang will come up with the best prank yet!"

This would have sparked a heated debate, had Sazh not intercepted and put an end to the argument.

"Okay, calm down, everyone. If we're lucky, it won't come to war and bloodshed, Fang and Lightning will reach some kind of truce, and we'll have a happy, peaceful, somewhat normal day. Okay?"

"Define 'somewhat normal', funny man."

"Fang!" Vanille cried, jumping up from her chair and running to her friend. She threw her arms around Fang, making the woman laugh out loud.

"Where the hell did _you_ come from?" Snow demanded, startled by the Pulsian woman's sudden appearance.

Fang raised an eyebrow at Snow as she took her seat at one end of the table, on Vanille's other side. "From upstairs, O Village Oaf. Thanks for the warm welcome. Glad to see you're doing fine after your little…splash."

Snow scowled and stared down at the tabletop.

"Where's Light?" Hope asked, far more concerned about the status of his mentor than about Snow's dignity issues.

Fang lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "Haven't a clue. The last I saw Light, she was upstairs, threatening to kill me. No idea as to where she's absconded this time."

"You…didn't _hurt _Lightning, did you?" Sazh asked her in a low voice.

Fang snorted. "Me, hurt Light? Yeah, if you can call splattering her with water balloons hurting her. No, funny man, the only thing that's hurt is Sunshine's pride."

"What did you do to her?" Hope demanded, furious at the thought of anyone injuring his hero's pride.

The Pulsian woman's palms hit the table in exasperation. "Why do you all think that I've done something to her? _She _tried to prank _me_! All I did was cause the plan to backfire on her. It's not like I tried to kill her or something."

Vanille nestled up to Fang, her green eyes wide. "They thought you couldn't take care of yourself," she whispered, glancing at the others. "They said that if you and Light were fighting, Light would win."

"Oh, worried about me, were they? I'm sure I appreciate the concern." The sarcastic edge in Fang's voice was unmistakable. She put her arm around Vanille's shoulders. "Don't worry about it, love. It'll take quite a bit to bring me down so early in the battle."

These words, carrying with them the promise of a dawning conflict, were not reassuring to anyone.

**xxXxx**

As a matter of routine, Yuj was always the last one in the household to rise. It was somewhat of a mixed blessing—he rose late enough to avoid the hectic excitement that was typical of mornings spent in their house, yet too late to witness the hilarity that often accompanied it.

This didn't seem to bother the kindhearted (though fashion-obsessed) young man, however. He was somewhat of a pacifist and preferred to avert conflict, although he too carried the youthfully rebellious attitude characteristic of all NORA members.

Of course, he'd been mercilessly teased by the other NORA fighters for his tendency to sleep late. He'd been called mocking names by Gadot, smacked over the head by Lebreau, and rudely jolted awake in the mornings by Maqui pouncing on him to interrupt his sleep. Yet despite all the disparaging comments from his teammates, Yuj maintained that a good night's sleep was absolutely essential for the health of his complexion and figure, and supported this belief firmly.

Unfortunately, sleeping late today would not allow Yuj to encounter any less conflict than anyone else.

In fact, he was in for his own share of trouble.

Yuj's alarm clock went off at precisely nine-thirty, feeding a quiet beeping noise into his left ear. The junior NORA member slapped his hand down on the clock, abruptly cutting off the beeping noise, and rose, stretching as he did so.

Smoothing one hand through his silky hair, Yuj crossed to the window and drew aside the curtains, allowing sunlight to flood his bedroom in a torrent of effulgence.

"Another beautiful day," Yuj said cheerfully to himself, gazing out at the perfect, pristine blue sky outside.

He remained at the window for a few moments, unable to tear his eyes away from the matutinal beauty, before finally remembering that he needed to go downstairs.

Yuj hurried to the bathroom.

Out of all the people who shared the house with him, Yuj was the only one to have his own personal bathroom. When they'd first chosen rooms, he'd insisted on having a bathroom all to himself so he would be able to spend as much time as he wanted on his toilette—which, as the others teased, took about an hour and a half.

A massive mirror lined an entire wall of his bathroom, always kept spotlessly polished so Yuj could better admire his handsome features. On the adjacent wall, there was another mirror, a full-length one that served as a panel to conceal the massive shelf behind it where Yuj kept his beauty products.

The nineteen-year-old opened the mirror and ran one finger along the rows of conditioners, lotions, powders, perfumes, shampoos, cleansers, color dyes, glosses, and numerous other cosmetics. Satisfied that they were all present and in order, Yuj closed the mirror and reached for his hairbrush, glancing into the glass as he did so.

The hairbrush clattered to the floor.

Yuj stared in utter horror at his reflection as he beheld himself. Slowly, he raised his trembling hands to his hair.

Instead of its usual shade of deep cobalt, Yuj's hair was now a bright, crimson hue.

The boy's mind reeled with shock, staggering as it attempted to wrestle with the total surreality of the situation. There was absolutely no way to explain this, or how it had happened.

So naturally, Yuj reacted, in the only way he could.

He screamed.

**xxXxx**

In the dining room, everyone glanced upwards as a horrified scream resounded above them from what could only be Yuj's bathroom.

Snow slanted a look at Fang.

"…Did you happen to prank Yuj's bathroom, too?"

Fang looked thoughtful.

"Hm...no, I don't think so."

**xxXxx**

"Are you done with those yet, Lebreau?" Serah inquired, pausing in the middle of cleaning up the kitchen to stand beside the other girl.

"Uh-huh." Lebreau switched off the heat and heaped another plate with warm golden hotcakes. "That was the last of our batter."

"Except for what Dajh has got." Serah sent an amused smile in the direction of the little boy, who sat on the countertop, feet dangling several feet above the floor, happily licking hotcake batter off a spoon. She gently lifted him off the counter, set him on his feet, and gave him a little push into the hallway. "Go back to the dining room, Dajh. We're almost done."

"Hey, Serah, I'll finish up cleaning here." Lebreau took the cloth from her hand and nodded at the last plate of hotcakes. "Take that in for me, will you?"

"Sure." The younger Farron took the plate and carried it into the dining room.

Before she reached the others, however, she was greeted by a very unexpected commotion.

A red-haired blur crashed down the stairs, screaming at the top of its lungs. Tripping and lurching forward, it tore blindly down the hallway, rushing headlong into Serah and knocking her off balance.

Serah stumbled with a cry of surprise, pitching forward. She miraculously managed to catch herself, and set the plate safely on the table before whirling about to confront the offender.

"Yuj! What was that for?" the pink-haired girl admonished. "You almost made me—"

Any further words died in her throat as she finally registered Yuj's head of bright scarlet hair.

Maqui's jaw hit the floor with an audible clang.

"Dear Etro," murmured Snow.

"It's Gadot all over again," sighed Fang.

"What—what happened?" Serah cried. "Yuj...your hair—!"

Slowly, Yuj rose from the floor, his eyes full of heartbreaking despair. "I...I..." he whispered in a broken voice.

Maqui jumped up from his chair and ran to his friend, frightened. "Yuj, you okay?"

"I LOOK SO UNFASHIONABLE!" Yuj screamed in anguish, collapsing to his knees. Violent sobs racked the young man's body. "The thought...the thought of what I must look like..."

As Yuj burst into tears once more, Fang nodded at his prostrate form on the floor and said quietly, "Probably the first time in his life he's ever looked unfashionable. Must be quite a blow to him."

Vanille nodded, her hands to her mouth. She and Hope looked on with wide, stunned eyes, as did the others. Yuj's breakdown had so shocked everyone that no one noticed Lebreau enter the scene until she opened her mouth and took charge, announcing her presence.

"What the hell is going on here?" Lebreau demanded. Swiftly, she scanned the room with narrowed eyes, until her gaze fell upon the hysterically weeping Yuj at her feet.

Everyone watched with varying degrees of fear and wariness, knowing full well of the ferocity of Lebreau's temper. If anything displeased her, she went at it like a wildcat. Poor Yuj had better be good at running.

Thus, no one was prepared for Lebreau to simply take one glance at Yuj and unexpectedly turn away. Her manner completely casual, she strolled to her seat, sat down, and served herself some hotcakes, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Everyone stared at the dark-haired woman. Glancing up, Lebreau finally took notice of the many eyes trained on her. "What?" she snapped at them. "Am I not allowed to eat or something?"

"…Uh, 'Breau?" Snow asked cautiously. "Didn't you notice...uh...Yuj? He, uh..."

Maqui jumped up, exploding, "His hair is freaking _red_!"

"IT'S SO UNFASHIONABLE!" Yuj screamed from where he was performing a face-plant in the floor, his voice muffled.

"Yeah, I noticed. So what?" Lebreau sat back and crossed her arms.

This only served to further stupefy the others. As they all stared at her with gaping mouths, Vanille reached timidly across the table and tapped the woman's hand. "Um…Libby?" she inquired. "Aren't you...um, surprised or anything?"

"Why should I be?" Lebreau lifted one shoulder in a shrug. A faintly wicked smile played around her lips as she added, "After all, I was the one who did it to him."

A wall of utterly shocked silence slammed down over the room. One could have heard a feather drop.

Snow let out a slow breath. "Dear Etro."

Yuj stumbled to his feet and staggered to Lebreau, his eyes pools of betrayal.

"Lebreau," he choked out, pointing an accusing finger at her. "You—_you_, of all people! I can't—I can't believe you—!"

Yuj collapsed upon the table and burst into tears.

As Maqui, Vanille, and Hope ran to comfort the young man, Lebreau rolled her eyes. "Whatever. He'll get over it soon." She met the accusing stares directed at her and scowled defiantly. "Come on, it's April Fool's Day! Did you really think I'd let it pass without pranking anyone? Haven't we all been pranked at least once already today?"

"Yeah," Snow muttered, shooting a glance at Fang, who grinned in reply.

"Yuj." Lebreau stood up and went to the shaking young man, who was still crouched over the table with the other teenagers gathered around him in concern. She put her hand lightly on his shoulder. "Truce?"

Yuj didn't react.

"Hey, it could have been a lot worse, you know," Lebreau told him. "I could have replaced your conditioner with glue or something. Besides, the dye washes out. You'll be fine by tomorrow." She ruffled her fingers in his crimson-dyed hair. "And actually, I kind of like this color on you. It looks good."

Yuj sniffed and straightened. "I got my hair dyed blue in Eden, you know," he mumbled. "It was part of a really expensive makeover. Just one bottle of Liquid Cobalt dye cost me so much gil..."

And he went on and on, but he allowed Lebreau to lead him back to his seat like a six-year-old. She playfully ran her fingers through his scarlet hair, mussing it up, causing him to flail and fuss at her, but everyone could see from the way he was smiling that he had forgiven Lebreau.

"Can we eat now?" Dajh piped up in his little voice, unable to hold back any longer.

Everyone laughed. Lebreau smiled at the toddler and passed him a plate. "Sure. Here you go."

The atmosphere above the table was, for the moment, relaxed and peaceful, in the aftermath of the crisis—perhaps for the very first time that morning. Everyone settled down to eat, talking and laughing in good humor. For those few minutes, the group of housemates put their rivalries aside and simply conversed.

…That is, until the thirteenth member of their household appeared.

At that moment, Lightning stomped down the stairs. With precise, rigid footsteps, she strode down the hall. As everyone turned in their seats to stare at her, she stormed into the dining room, yanked her chair aside, and threw herself down in it.

A deadly quiet fell once more upon the table upon the wake of Lightning's sudden arrival. And this time, everyone was aware of it.

Even the chocobo seemed uneasy, tucking its head under its wing beside Dajh's plate as if to make itself as small as possible.

As the silence prolonged itself further, several of them began to betray their discomfort. Snow shifted awkwardly in his seat, his blue eyes darting from Lightning to Fang. Vanille fidgeted slightly, her fingers playing agitatedly with a strand of loose copper-coral hair. Hope kept glancing at Lightning, his eyes expressing his concern for his mentor. Serah picked up her fork, then put it down again, leaning towards Lightning. The younger Farron said nothing, but her large blue eyes spoke for her, pleading wordlessly with her sister to talk to her.

Lightning pointedly ignored all of the anxious stares the others were giving her. She ate stolidly, her face completely impassive. Only the subtle flickering of her eyes, barely detectable as they darted every so often in Fang's direction, revealed the fury roiling beneath her surface.

In contrast, Fang seemed wholly unconcerned. She leaned back in her seat next to Vanille, her posture completely relaxed, as if she hadn't a care in the world. A faint smirk played around her lips as she observed Lightning, sitting tensely across the table across from her.

Dajh was the only one seemingly unaffected by the tension in the room. He dug happily into his hotcake, smearing syrup all over his hands and face. He reached for the syrup bottle but only succeeded in knocking it over, spilling a vast pool of syrup over the tablecloth.

However, no one noticed. Everyone's attention was entirely focused on Fang and Lightning.

"Um, so..." Vanille began uncertainly, in a feeble attempt to ease the hostility that had suddenly suffused the mood of the table. Her voice trembled slightly, though she tried to keep it cheerful. "Um...Light? Hey...oh, oh, did you see Yuj's hair yet? It's red now! Lebreau dyed it! Isn't it pretty? It's crimson! Or scarlet!" she babbled, trying to fill the silence with words.

Lightning grunted in reply.

It wasn't exactly an answer, but she'd reacted favorably—favorably, meaning, she hadn't killed anyone. Everyone at the table sighed inwardly in relief.

"Hey, you know..." Sazh mused, with a quick side glance at Lightning to make sure that she wouldn't suddenly spring up and attack him for daring to speak. "Am I the only one who's noticed that all the pranks concerning Team NORA all involve hair in some way or another?"

"Hey...you're right..." Snow took a closer look at his teammates. His jaw dropped as his eyes fell upon Lebreau. "'Breau! What the hell did you do to your hair?"

Lebreau scowled at him. "Are you serious? You _just _noticed?"

"Hey, we don't call him an oaf for nothing," Fang pointed out, smirking.

"Thick, Snow. Thick," Lebreau said, grinning. Snow scowled, and Serah reached over to place her hand comfortingly on his shoulder, though she couldn't hide her smile.

"Hey, we never figured out who pranked Gadot!" Maqui exclaimed suddenly.

All eyes presently turned to Gadot.

The curly-haired behemoth of a man had been very quiet throughout the entire morning, perhaps due to the fact that he had not wanted to draw attention to himself and his newly coiled tresses. Now that Maqui had brought him up, however, it was impossible to remain unobserved.

Gadot glared at Maqui. "_I_. _Will_. _Kill_. _You_."

Maqui uttered a horrified squeak and dived behind Lebreau's chair.

"Gadot, what did we tell you about controlling your temper when you were little?" Lebreau said warningly, placing a comforting hand on Maqui's head.

"You're one to talk," Snow muttered.

Lebreau whipped about and glared ferociously at Snow. "Shut it."

"So, who was the one who pranked Gadot?" Vanille asked as she tilted her head, trying to drag the others away from the brink of violence.

"Was it you, Fang?" Snow raised an eyebrow at the Pulsian woman. "You seem capable of doing something like that."

Fang snorted. "Do you really think I'd have the patience to arrange someone's hair into dozens of ringlets like that? Hell, I can't even brush my own hair."

"But you have _very_ pretty hair, Fang!" Vanille chirped, clasping her hands earnestly to her chest.

Fang grinned at the younger girl and gathered her to her side in a hug. "Thanks, love. That's sweet of you. But as far as they're interested, I'm not the one who pranked Gadot."

"Well, then, who did it?" growled Gadot, slamming his fists on the table.

Lebreau smirked and leaned back in her chair. "I think I know."

"_What_?" Gadot shot up from his chair and stared fiercely at Lebreau as the others gawked at her. "You know who did this to me?" His hands, supporting his weight against the table, tightened ominously into fists.

"Yeah. I mean, I have a pretty good guess." Lebreau tucked one arm behind her head. "This morning, when I went into Yuj's bathroom to get the red hair dye for my prank...I saw something on the countertop. Two things, actually. A bottle of hairspray...and a curling iron."

There was a sharp intake of breath. Everyone instantly turned to look at Yuj, whose face had become the exact shade of red as his hair.

"**YOU**?" boomed Gadot. He narrowed his eyes dangerously at the violently quaking young man, breathing heavily through his nostrils. "**You**...**you little**..."

Slowly, he raised one fist, trembling with barely suppressed fury and white at the knuckles, into the air.

Yuj let out a shriek of fear. Diving out of his seat, he scuttled to join Maqui in shelter behind Lebreau's chair.

"_I'm going to kill you, you little runt_!" roared Gadot, pounding the table. His already intimidating bulk seemed to swell with rage as he towered above the cowering Yuj. "_I'm going to pulverize you! You little—_!"

"Hey, stow the threats, Gadot," Fang interrupted, standing up and placing her hands on her hips. "I think your point's been made clear. Look at the kid. He's terrified. And besides, it _is _April Fool's Day, yeah?" She punched the massive man's arm gently. "Shut up and sit down."

Gadot stood there for a long moment, fist still upraised, indecision scrawled across his face. At last, he leveled one finger at the cringing Yuj and barked ungraciously, "Fine! I'll let you go this time, you little runt. But I _will _get back at you for this!"

With that, he thumped himself back into his chair and crossed his mighty arms, glowering at nobody in particular.

Yuj slowly surfaced from behind Lebreau's chair. "Is it safe to come out now?" he squeaked timidly.

"Yep," Lebreau answered. "You can come out now. You too, Maqui." The two boys reluctantly left the refuge of her chair and crept back into their seats, though they both kept glancing uneasily in Gadot's direction.

Therewith, peace might have resumed, had Dajh not chosen to look up at that moment and chirp happily, "Auntie Lightning! Guess what?"

Sazh made a frantic grab for his little son, but it was too late. The words had already been spoken. Sazh winced, feeling sure that Lightning would immediately turn her wrath upon Dajh. _Please, Etro, please, _he prayed fervently.

To his long-standing relief, Lightning did nothing more than flick her eyes upward and emit an interrogative-sounding grunt, indicating that Dajh should go on.

The six-year-old giggled, clapping his hands together.

"UNCLE HOPE'S WEARING A **DRESS **TODAY!"

Everyone groaned simultaneously. "Oh, dear Etro, not this _again_," muttered Sazh, dragging a hand down his face.

Vanille hurried to comfort Hope, cuddling him to her. "It's okay! It's okay!"

"What the hell?" Lightning snapped, speaking the first words she'd uttered ever since entering the dining room, eliciting stares of disbelief. "Serah, I thought I told you to give him shorts!"

Serah looked bemused. "You didn't tell me to give him shorts..."

"Why _are _you wearing a dress, anyway?" Fang eyed Hope in mild puzzlement.

Jumping to his feet in rage, Hope screamed: "IT'S NOT A DRESS, IT'S JUST A BLANK—You know what, never mind." And he sat down abruptly.

Everyone blinked. Snow looked as if he were about to say something, then changed his mind and glanced away. Vanille tilted her head, casting Hope a worried look. She gently took his hand in hers and whispered, "You okay?" Hope gave a nod, but his face still burned scarlet.

Serah seized the moment to speak with her sister before she lapsed back into muteness. She leaned towards Lightning, concern in her pale blue eyes. "Claire…are you all right?" she said softly.

Lightning hesitated. With the others, she could easily put up a barrier of reticence; but with Serah, her own little sister...

"It's Fang," she confessed in a low voice. "She—"

"Hey, Sunshine, what is it?"

Lightning's head instantly snapped to the side to face her rival. She glared at Fang with smoldering eyes, furious at having admitted within her earshot that she had angered her. She hadn't wanted to give Fang the satisfaction of knowing just how unsettled Lightning was that her prank had been defeated so easily, but it was too late now.

"I heard my name." Fang leaned on one elbow across the table, smirking at the older Farron. "Guess you've decided to admit defeat?"

"Defeat to _what_, Fang?" Lightning's voice was frosty.

"You're obviously never going to come up with a better prank than mine, so why try?"

"Is that a challenge, Fang?" Lightning hissed. "Because it sounds like it is."

By this time, the others had noticed that something was going on, and were warily watching the two women in silence. The air was thick with tension.

"Claire, please..." Serah pleaded softly.

"Fang?" Vanille looked up at the older woman uncertainly.

"It's okay, Vanille," Fang told her in an undertone, then returned her attention to Lightning, raising one eyebrow. "So? You can't deny it, can you? You may be a quick one, Farron, but compared to a wild-born Pulsian...we've been playing tricks all our lives."

"You want a challenge, Fang? Is that it?" Lightning's fingers curled into a tight fist.

Fang smirked at her again. "Only if you think you're up to it."

"I'm more than up to it." Lightning narrowed cold blue eyes at the other woman. "I just hope that when the time comes, you'll be ready."

Fang tucked one arm behind her head in the manner of one completely unfazed by anything that life could throw at her.

"You're on."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to LoriMina for the Hope's line about the blanket! :D **

**Please, please read and review! Make Nighty happy. ^^**


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